The Mandorland Phrasebook

When entering Mandorland, bear in mind that both climate and company can affect the tone and meaning of all the phrases. If the surroundings are white, remember to add the possibility of maiming into your plans. You will need a separate insurance policy to cover maiming by Mandor in white conditions.

Greetings in Mandorland

"What an unexpected pleasure." (What an un-ex-pect-ed pleasure)

Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my office? (Implied~it had better be bloody good)

"How do you do?" (How do you do?)

Tell me everything about yourself and all your plans (Implied~I bet my mind's bigger than yours, sucker)

"I am happy to have you here." (I am happy to have you here)

Fool, you have walked into the lions den, you'll never see Kansas again (Implied~Bwuahahahahaha!)

"Here, let me get you something to drink." (Here, let me get you something to drink)

Drink this, it's a micky finn - if you're lucky (Implied~or else)

Conversational Mandor

"I don't think you want to do that." (I don't think you want to do that)

Are you insane, or just terminally stupid? (Implied~ignore my advice at your peril)

"He's a bit scary, yes." (He's a bit scary, yes)

He's the ultimate in scary things, totally bloody terrifying, run, run for your life. (Implied~even I'm scared)

"Maybe." (May-be)

Depends how you behave. (Implied~begging might help, whining won't)

In the next two examples, notice how a slight change in emphasis produce two totally diffrent meanings and demand diffrent responses of the second party.

"How would I know?" (How would I know?)

Of course I know, but I'm not going to tell you how. (Implied~go on, guess, you know you want to)

"How would I know?" (How would I know?)

No, really, I don't know, I mean it. (Implied~so shut up and stop pointing out my deficiencies)

"Perhaps we'd do better to discuss this elsewhere?" (Per-haps we'd do better to discuss this elsewhere?)

Shut-up and run.

"Fine, you go ahead." (Fine, you go ahead)

Why don't you just throw yourself into the Abyss? It'd be quicker. (Implied~don't believe me then, see if I care)

"I'd never do such a thing." (I'd never do such a thing)

I've either done it already, am about to do it, or have every intention of doing it at some point in the future. (Implied~but don't quote me on that)