Um, now where do I start? It's all quite complicated really ...
I was finishing up with the goblins, I guess. I passed some safe ones through to Suhey and went through to the Ways. Managed to persuade him to let me see the Logrus at last! I had to go through all this fuss of getting an initiate tag or something, which he seems to have stapled to my guts and signed for me with my own blood - didn't hurt. I nearly didn't get to see the Logrus - we were just outside the door when my bro Trumped me and asked me to come through for a meeting. Luckily, he said I could come through a bit later so I saw it after all. It's pretty cool, lotsa green powery things all over the place, although I've been told they change colour. I'm not allowed to touch the Logrus either. Suhey says he's going to teach me how to use it.
After that I went through to Amber and joined the others (well, most of 'em) in the library. Oberon wanted to see everyone one by one and I don't know what he told the others, but he told me that he only had a week - which is a lot less than he said before. He gave me a card for dire emergency when there's no other out and that was it.
I was a bit upset because he was going away and when Bardok coaxed me out of my trashcan I found all the others in the great hall. Most of them were laughing and drinking like they were glad to see him him go - which pissed me off greatly. I broke the nearest thing which turned out to be one of Vialle's models - oops. Random was pretty pissed off and he's stronger than me too. He gave me to Benedict to be snortched, but Benny let me off when I told him why I was so mad with everyone. He's a good guy, I owe him big time. I apologised to Random and Vialle later - can Vialle read minds too? She seemed to know what state my head's in pretty well ... must be a real tip in there actually, all those bits of unconfirmed data winging around. Not to mention the footprints of the various people that have been in there.
I wanted to think a bit so I went out in shadow and practiced being a person. I ended up at my brother's tree
which is actually quite nice. It feels at you. It's a grand place to sleep, I felt really good after I woke up - I might be inclined to make that a habit. I need a Trump of the place really. Maybe I should ask dad next time I see him? Hmm, might blow my cover ... I'll ask Bardok.
Well then, things didn't go quite so good after that. I went back to Amber and tried to sort out what was going on and how I felt about it. Not an easy task, because everyone was too busy doing their own thing to talk to me. Mandor was out in Shadow getting narky 'cos I'd interrupted his snogging. Flora threw a wobbly when I tried to get out of the wedding thing - I didn't throw her hard. I accidently made Bardok's nose bleed even when I was trying not to hurt him and, AND, Oberon said he was way too busy to talk to me and what he was doing was none of my business anyway - I only wanted to spend a bit of time with him before he went *foom*!
I was put out. Okay, I was sulking. I can sulk if I want to.
I went back to the Academy. I figured that with all the goblins I'd be safe. Yeah, you guessed it. Wrong.
My Shadow of me got ate, I think - poor guy. The Gromble was really mad because I'd missed a whole heap of lessons ... doesn't look like I'm going to be able to attend any in the near future either. He gave me the day off when I showed him The Duke. Nice to know terror is universal ....
Not long after that I found the armadillos that were hunting my poor goblins. They kept hissing my name in the same creepy way The Duke does. It was freaky and maybe I wasn't thinking things through so well. Anyway, after a while of listening to them I decided that I could probably lead them to their doom if I just tried hard enough. I figured the Abyss would probably do it and with what was left of the goblins I could get away with a quick visit. The plan was to Trump over to Suhey Ways and hope that the armadillos would treck into the Abyss. Actually it didn't quite work out that way at all.
When I was nearly at The Courts I found that all my cards had gone warm, except the emergency one. There was a big shape out amongst the thingies which thankfully wasn't the big blue couch potato. It was some dude called Baron Hendrake. He offered me a sword when he found out I didn't have one, but I'm not much good at that sort of thing and I figured that if he was sent by The Duke to off me, he probably could and certainly would. All the armadillos were blocking my escape and there was really only one way out. I took a dive straight into the Abyss before Hendrake could stop me, which I guess means that now this oughta be ...
Ha! Gee I'm glad I remembered the vulture form before I entered the unknown. Mind you, if I hadn't remembered so late, Hendrake would have seen me winging my way to freedom. Suhey picked me up before I landed and after a really annoying decontamination procedure I got to see him. He made me try out a whole bunch of stuff to do with the Logrus somehow, He wanted me to be in two places at once ... how the heck am I supposed to do that? I can't even get a finger to drop off. Besides, wouldn't the bit of me without the brain just fall over? Nnng, I need educating. He also made me look at something, but I couldn't tell what it was. Heck it took me long enough to get used to 3D.
I tried talking to Suhey about ridding the universe of The Duke - he fell asleep almost the second I started and Mandor says it's probably a defense mechanism because he's afraid. I'm scared of him too - petrified, but I'm not happy shutting myself off. I like to wander about and how am I going to learn everything there is to know if I can't do that? Besides, I still don't think The Duke's gonna be happy leaving us in hiding.
When Suhey woke up I asked him to make me dead so that I could move around a bit better without having to panic every time I crossed the border. He made a new Trump of me looking like a person and all the other Trumps of me went warm and that was it. Pretty groovy, eh?
I asked Suhey to put me two feet away from Mandor, 'cos it certainly wasn't the sort of thing I wanted to tell him over Trump. I knew he was going to be a bit pissed off, but it was important, you dig? I turned up on the bed he and Fiona were in and made a dive for underneath it before I could get blasted. I got power worded before I could make it, but things went better than they might have. Mandor seemed to have pretty much figured out who I was by the time they let me go and I explained more or less what was going down and gave him the Vomit Trump. He was cool about it.
Not long after that I got a call from my bro, who knows an awful lot about everything, evidently. He said it was time for him to go and I went through to Amber where I was introduced as an ambassador for Chaos ... well, for Suhey, obviously. Actually I've worked out how many people know who I am and it's quite a lot - take a look.
Flora, Bardok, Mandor, Fiona, Oberon, Random, Vialle, Caine, Suhey and Benedict.
Probably a few more I don't know about either. Still, as long as he doesn't twig, I don't care.
Anyway, Random and me had to go with Oberon while he turned himself into a bit of Pattern to plug up the missing bit. Man, it was depressing. There was some woman there too, but she left as soon as he'd gone. I was a bit bummed after that and kept a pretty low profile until after the services. It's weird being around when your own memorial service is going on, I tell you. Still, Mandor and Fiona made me a pretty cool tomb and I like the trashcan addition.
Ericol came along and started being inexcusibly rude to Amanfist for some reason. I told you he hated everyone I like! Anyway, I tried to diffuse the argument because I didn't think it was right to be acting like that so soon after Oberon left. Ericol predictibly didn't take much of a shine to the Chaos Ambassador, but it shut him up. Why is he so mean all the time anyway?
Oh yeah, talking of stupid, stupid, idiot, loser, Ericol ... apparently the jerk said The Duke's name (for no good reason that I've been told of) and got mindsnortched into being Baron Hendrake. He nearly assasinated Morganth! I told him to stay away from that guy! Jeez ... anyway, now he's got the mother of all guilt trips to take care of, so maybe he'll learn a little from the experience. Luckily Morganth's okay - thanks to Lila and Mandor.
I couldn't understand why a mean jerk like Ericol got to be alive when my brother was gone just because he wouldn't be mean. It doesn't make much sense, does it? They should have made the universe better than that. Anyway, it got me thinking again about the problems Oberon left with me. I still don't know what the problem in Amber is that I'm supposed to deal with, but I got somewhere on the other one. I asked the compass to take me to the place where the Emergency Trump was drawn. Worked a treat! I met death and ended up in a temple where the lady lives. Seems to me that maybe things aren't as sad as I thought they were and it put me in a much better mood. I wonder if he'll stay there or come back for the throne? I wonder if this makes him my little brother?
So now I have to figure out what ambassadors do and how they behave. Mandor says I might have to be Vomit for a long time, which is horrible, but he's taken over my shifting education, which is neat. How can they stand the smooth, unblemished skin?! Thank goodness I'm still pretty hairy - have to do something about the eyes if I'm going to be this way a long time though and I'll have to be careful about sleeping and stuff. It's going to be difficult, isn't it? Trouble is, who knows when The Duke will be watching? Erg, paranoia.
Alrighty - well I guess I'll have to get used to using peoples titles and eating icky food when I have to (I can always regurgitate later). I'm still going to skive out of those weddings though.
There's a few things I'd like to take a look at. I'd like to chase up some stuff - you know, some of the info on that sheet must have been awfully hard to come by. I wonder if he knows who my mom is? I wonder if he'd tell me if he did? I wonder if Ericol is gonna leave me alone now I'm Vomit? He'll be sorry if he doesn't ... I wonder if I can really scare up enough power to get rid of The Duke? I need to know a heck of a lot more about him before I try, that's for sure! Oh yeah, as far as I can tell - I could be wrong - the real Duke was Mandor's dad. So what happened to him? Didn't Mandor say he'd been dropped into the Abyss or something? At any rate, there can't be a shortage of people that would like to see The Duke deep sixed. Maybe I should start making tentative enquiries in The Courts? Maybe that would be suicide? Should I ask Mandor or not? I wouldn't want to upset him ...
Also on my lengthening list of things to confirm is the two kids The Duke's supposed to have had. I bet Dara knows a heap of stuff, but we never did hit it off and why would she talk to one of Suhey's people anyway? I'd be dead for real if she found out. Hmm, if I need a Pattern user I'm pretty sure I can trick Ericol into helping - particularly with the background stuff I've got. Trouble with Ericol is he's about as subtle as a bulldozer. If I track down The Duke's kids, I really don't want them to know about it. I should also find out more about The Duke's stooges - Hendrake for instance. Maybe Merlin knows something? Will he talk to Vomit? Will anyone?
*Sigh*, so many questions, so confused, so few people I trust (which is an improvement on none, I suppose - or is it a step backwards?). The hunt continues.
What do I want? - information ...
Be seeing you!
Oh boy, thing's really went up big this time! I've got so much to tell you, I hardly know where to start ...
I'd been working on Ericol ... he was gonna kill himself anyway, so I figured there was a limit to how much damage I could do. He'd come to me in the library and spent some time trying to persuade me to attack The Duke straight away. I told him he was insane if he thought I was going to even try before I had a better idea how to go about it. He was so impatient, I figured that I'd have to do something with him soon or he'd get himself killed and I'd lose whatever advantage I could get from him.
He left a card in the library - a white one that had the same backing as the one my bro gave me. I gave it a whirl and found out that the stronger the connection became, the more air got sucked through the Trump. I came to the conclusion that perhaps it was a bit dangerous and took it to Mandor, who seems to have a much better idea of what's good for me than I do. We ended up running a few experiments on a space ship. I found out several things - Trump links break ropes and chains after two feet; space suits rip sometimes; the middle ground is darn cold; and this Trump has twoways to it - which is a first for me. We didn't find out a whole heap more and Mandor said we should get someone else in on it. Personally I wasn't wild about the idea, but eventually we settled on Fiona because she was the least disagreeable choice between us. Maybe that's why he suggested Ericol? I wouldn't put it past him ...
Anyway, the long and the short of it is that we ended up at Fiona's house for dinner. Lila, Ragglespear, Jules, Bardok and Ericol were there too (they came and went). Ericol wanted a private word - I tried telling him that it was nigh impossible given the company we were in, but he wasn't in a listening mood (is he ever?). Anyway, he'd hit the "do or die" point, so I thought to heck with it and swung the Baron Hendrake plan into action earlier than I would have liked - I hadn't had the chance to run it by Mandor or anything. The whole plan went to pieces remarkably quickly, though it was Mandor's idea to put Ericol in "park", which caused no end of problems ... I chose not to point that out, given the fact that the whole deal was basically my own personal screw up. Anyway, the gig was blown and we decided that discrection was the better part of just about everything and legged it.
Tried Trumping my dad to make a getaway - he was falling somewhere and I panicked and grabbed him. Since Mandor had a hold of me at the time we both ended up joining dad in a plummet towards Amber castle. I turned into a carpet and caught them both, but dad seemed hell-bent on falling so I figured he knew what he was doing and made a dash for the nearest Suhey-calling point. We both got shot on the way out - geez, that hurts. Anyway, being at Suhey's gave me time to think the problem over and I decided that maybe I could talk my way out of trouble if I went back the next day. Besides, there was no point both of us getting snortched and I figured I could always call Mandor when it was safe to come back. Wanna take a guess at how that worked out?
Random wasn't pleased at all and had me snortched good and proper ... I probably deserved it, actually - not so sure Mandor did though, Gerard did quite a number on him ...
I was hiding out from the world under Mandor's bed in the infirmary - god, little girls are repulsive - when someone came in and rammed a sword through the bed. Being rather under the impression that someone had taken it into their head to kill Mandor, I leaped out, loomed and pounced. Turned out to be Ericol, who (apparently) was trying to kill Vomit whom he thought was the bed - that's the excuse he gave me later anyway. Ericol gashed me a good one before I got him down and for a while there I thought I was gonna have to bite his head clean off. He blacked out and I lashed him to a bed, chucking his dratted sword and armour out the window. Goon.
Quite a few people came into the infirmary, actually. Bardok got laid out because he threw up on the little girl - told you it was a bad snortch. Then Morganth came in after my blood and got the little girl by accident. Gerard locked us up after that, but I went back to under the bed anyway.
Come the next day I managed to get the snortching recinded, which is just as well, because it was Ragglespear's stag night. It was pretty good fun, 'specially the bowling - gorblats in any form, you can't beat it. Had trouble scaring Raggle the morning after though ...
Then there was the wedding - which is really where everything went kablooey. Naturally I was at Suhey Ways doing some Logrus training, which is just as well really, considering what happened to everyone else. As far as I can tell from eye witness reports, not to mention what Bardok's told me from his cell, most of it was Bardok's fault. Mind you, Bleys should be nominated for scuzzbucket of the year as well ...
Seems that in a fit of annoyance, after all the beatings he's had lately, Bardok decided to "get" his family to pay them back. He dipped all the food at the wedding into the Fount and sat back to watch everyone eat it. Since most of the people he got had never done anything to him at all, I'm rather inclined to see the whole thing in a dim light. Quite a lot of people from the Circle States didn't live to see morning, and due to the addictive qualities of the stuff, Bleys took the opportunity to seize control in Amber.
First I knew about it was when Mandor appeared next to me in Suhey's place. He said "Next time you see Bardok, kill him." which is an order I'm rather hoping he's forgotten, or at least, that he's slightly less annoyed about it now. He told me what had happened so I tried to deck him - actually, there were a couple of reasons for that, firstly to make sure he dried out before Bleys got his hooks in him and secondly to prevent me having to make any decisions that would put me on my Amber family's hate list. He's got a face like granite and I ended up having to ask Suhey to go get him and lock him up where he couldn't Trump. Luckily I hadn't done him any serious harm, or at least I don't think so - I gotta figure out just how hard I can hit people or sooner or later I'm going to regret it.
The way I figured it, this definitely constituted an emergency, so I Trumped the lady. She came through and after hearing the tale of woe, we all went to the grove. I was told to hang around Amber, which I did right up until my dad came shrieking through. He bit me and fell over and I didn't want to leave him in Bley's hands, so I went back to the grove with my dad. Oberon said we should hide out until the last minute - the Unicorn was there, incredibly white, she is. I asked my bro if she was my mom too and he said I should ask dad. To be honest, I think I'll leave it. That way I can still cling pathetically to the hope that my mom was just an ordinary little monster like me instead of some huge powery thingy that I don't understand. I'd like to think that at least one member of my family was like me. I feel like a black kid born to a family of white deep southers. Even Mandor isn't a real monster ... so near and yet so far, *sigh*.
I'm straying from the point rather ... What it came down to was this; The Duke was on his way. My bro told me to wait in Amber and that when it looked as though The Duke had won, he would deal with it. The battle went on all night - so many people died! It's a wonder Amber and Chaos don't look deserted. I'll bet there are an awful lot of grudges about that.
The Duke came (he can move), I was on the roof whining by the time he got to the castle. It was really scary and I was getting ready to off myself rather than face whatever eternal snortching he had in mind for me. Random, who was in the middle of the Pattern, pulled out a big glitzy Pattern sword and asked to be taken behind The Duke. I went down to the hall and found Random lying on the floor, a bit singed, but otherwise okay. My brother and the two kids I saw before were sorta squishing The Duke in a bubble. After a bit he dissapeared ... not dead, but hopefully out of everyone's life forever.
Oberon said he would work on fixing dad, so I went out and called Suhey to make sure that Mandor was okay. Suhey told me he'd taken Mandor apart and for a while there I had horrible visions that involved a lot of blood. Fortunately, Mandor was still alive - just not very happy with me. He was in bits all over the room and made some sarky comment about me finally remembering him, which is a tad unfair, 'cos I'd come as soon as I could. As soon as I'd persuaded Suhey to re-assemble him, he belted me a good one. Hey-ho.
Quite a lot of things have happened since then. Mandor gave me a job and now I'm a diplomat and a scion for House Sawall. I looked the words up in a human dictionary to save confusion and it says: SCION - a young branch or descendant; a twig for grafting ... is grafting gonna hurt? And aren't they taking this tree thing a bit literally?
DIPLOMACY - the art of negotiating relations between states, which is clear enough - sort of a non-resident Ambassador, really.
I had to swear fealty to the new King of Chaos, who after a bit of a vote turned out to be Asteroth of House Asteroth (funnily enough). For a while there it looked like Baron Hendrake was going to get it and Mandor said that might have meant war - which wouldn't have been good, particularly given the losses Chaos took. House Zephre put up Lovecraft, which makes me think that maybe Lovecraft isn't a daemon after all ... I like him whatever he is, mind you - I'm hardly in a position to be a bigot, am I? (grin)
One thing that confuses me, who do I answer to exactly? Mandor, or King Asteroth? The King, officially, I guess. You know, the only problem with my current position is there are so many people I have to be careful not to tick off ... heck, I can grovel with the best of them - so long as I don't do anything dumb I'll be alright. Nod's a bit of a problem ... just have to be careful, I suppose.
Amusingly enough, both Amber and Chaos have new Ambassadors. Baron Hendrake is in Amber - he's a bit uptight, but nicely predictable. Bleys gets to be in Chaos - which is about as much as he deserves. Bwuahahahahahaha!
Ericol gave me a whole bunch of stuff to do on his behalf. Well, it doesn't hurt to rack up a few favours, does it? First he wanted me to ask Mandor if he'd found Darnoqui et al - done; then he wanted me to take him through to Chaos to look personally - done; then he wanted me to ask Oberon if he could walk the Pattern - done; and then he wanted me to arrange a meeting between him and Baron Hendrake, which I've yet to do, but since I told Ericol 'no way' unless he left both armour and sword behind (he agreed!) I think Hendrake will be happy enough to talk. I think I'll call a halt to the favours for now though - I want to be sure he's going to return them. Be useful if I ever need a Pattern-user though ...
Talked to my bro, who doesn't seem to be displeased with me in any way - so with any luck he won't make life difficult for me. He's put new guards on the pattern, stone things. He says people have been walking it entirely too much and it looks as though he expects Ericol to try to break in. Hmm, maybe I'd better get those favours back quickly.
Probably the biggest cloud on what's become quite a rosy horizon, has to be Bardok. I've talked to him and heard what he had to say. I don't really want to hurt him, despite what he's done - but Mandor was awful mad and Bardok sure killed a lot of people, He deserves a snortching and I guess at least if I hurt him enough, Mandor may relent a little. I'd feel real bad if he turned up dead. Heck, I feel bad about it already and I haven't even done it yet - I'd be a terrible snortch. Damn Bardok anyway, what a stupid thing to do. You know, I have a relative called Roody who actually likes being snortched. Maybe he can stand in for me next time?
Final note ... the white Trump goes to a place that a Spikard taps power from. I'm not sure if the Spikard is actually there or not, but apparently it looks like a stone. I know next to nothing about these things, so I'll definitely be taking advice on what's to be done about it - if anything. Oh yeah, managed to keep my promise about Fiona in the end ...
Oooh dear ... what's the matter with these kids, why don't they listen when I tell 'em stuff? As you know, I'd been working on a way to prevent Bardok's untimely demise - I still can't figure out why he did what he did ... none of his excuses are good enough. Well, I kinda found out the full extent of the damage. Apparently it's gonna take a year just to shake off the depression! I'm not even going to think about the rest ... I mean, I still wouldn't wish Bardok dead - but anything up to death I'll back all the way. Little toerag. I thought I'd made my position on the matter quite clear, but from the looks of things Bardok's erring towards the apology option I offered him ... Oh dear. I'd better make sure Mandor isn't on a downer when I try to arrange that one - *Sigh*
Some other stuff; In the course of conversations with Mandor and other folks, they all seem so bloody sure I've got Amber blood. How do you tell? I mean, Dworkin's kinda ... deranged. What if I'm not even his kid? What if he just saw Slickus one day and turned into him? What if I'm just a jumped-up Shadow? What if all of this has been some horrible, misguided mistake? What if I go splat the minute I set foot on the Logrus?!
Not that I'm getting nervous at all, you understand ...
One thing we did clear up was the white Trump. It was, well - actually, it was kinda fun. We went through without any trouble and pretty soon ran into a bunch of people on their way to some sort of castle. There was a king type guy there, reminded me way too much of Swayville to be anywhere near likeable. He had a sort of magicy guy with him, who seemed okay and was obviously in a bit of bother. They kept waffling on about creatures and things that were real. It was fairly bizzare even by my standards.
Getting to the castle was more interesting. There were these dudes: fatty the git; Hairy the fighter and this incredibly smooth woman - blech - Mandor seemed to 'like' her which confuses me ... I thought Fiona was his squeeze? Besides, she seemed like a bit of a cow to me and you wouldn't have thought that appearances would matter so much to someone who could turn you into any old thing. Oh well ...
Another woman came in, who didn't look too bad and no-one was being particularly nice to her. She was the one that was going to try to ascend, which meant that she thought she was real. There were four magic guys there - the one we came in with, a dragon summoning guy, a windraiser and this bloke with a staff. Mandor said they all had some power, but nothing he couldn't handle - mind you, that was before his pinballs fell out of the air.
They had a dinner, which didn't last long (we ate out, sort of). Then they had a dance and no-one asked the ascention lady apart from a servant - kinda reminded me of how I felt when I saw where they put my picture in the great hall (they couldn't have made it any more out-of-sight without extensive re-building), so I asked her. After I'd started dancing with her, she told me that it was a dangerous thing to do and everyone might want to kill me afterwards - gee thanks, it's nice to be kept informed. I'm glad I wasn't on my own - I'd have panicked if I was on my own.
Me and Mandor had a bit of a laugh later on with the fat bloke - scared him a good one! Ha! I should get out and scare more often. His magic dude got what he wanted too. After that we went to see the spikard which was actually part of the chair the ascentian lady was supposed to sit on. For a while there I really wanted that stone, it just seemed so cool. Mandor said he felt that way too and that it was because the stone wanted to be wanted - hey, don't we all? It was something weird, anyway - weird and powerful.
Mandor said we should leave it for the moment and then started staring out the window at what he said was an approaching army. We decided to have fun with them too and I got made invisible for the occasion, which was just the neatest. Bent a lot of swords and stuff - I think we scared them too. By the time we got back it was time for the acsention (how many different ways can I spell it?).
It was a pretty major deal by the looks of it. The magic guys started up trying to stop her from reaching it and the guy with all the swords tried an attack. It didn't look as though she was going to make it - I was in the middle of asking Mandor if we ought to do anything when he went invisible and kicked someone where apparently it hurts a lot if you're a person. Seemed like a pretty clear answer, so I pitched in with gusto. I really didn't mean to knock that guy's head off though ... so much for all that practice on Roody (just over a year since he walked it, apparently - scary).
In all the confusion I chucked the stick I'd intercepted at the lady and she touched the stone with it. Bing! Attuned, apparently. Things went pretty quiet after that and even the real smooth lady seemed to give up on the deal. The assention lady turned into a dragon and told everyone but me and Mandor to bog off, basically. She wasn't quite as friendly as I'd have liked- considering. She says she's going to stay there and I'm wondering if she appreciates just how long she's going to live? If I can think of a way to get back from there on my own, I might drop in sometime and see how she's doing.
As far as I know, this woman's some kind of relative - Mandor reckons more on my brother's side than his, which kinda makes sense and it's probably just as well we didn't half-inch the spikard. Thinking about it, Ericol was probably supposed to do what we ended up doing ... I can't speak for Ericol of course, but if I'd been on my own I'd have got lost/skewered/stuck there. I keep telling Ericol what a good thing it is to have friends, but he says he'd rather go it alone. Isn't that, like, incredibly lonely?
Anyway, all in all we had a blast and Mandor got us home safe and sound. He says it's about time I started working on a demon form. I wonder if I get to pick what it looks like? I wonder if I could turn into one of those acid-blooded thingies with the teeth and spikey tails - they're cool. Actually, one thing I wanted him to teach me was how to get my face to melt off leaving just the eyeballs in the skull, that'd be pretty grody!
I've still gotta set up a Shadow of me in the Academy. Maybe I should just drop the Shadow in there and let him get snortched and go back when the heat's died down? It'll be good to see Krumm and Oblina again though. Even with Bardok acting like a total twit - life is basically so much better now it's Swayville free. All I really have to do now is find a way to cheer up Mandor when he gets depressed ... what's the betting that's difficult? Maybe I should take him scaring next time? That or tell him all my best graffiti jokes - it's amazing what you can pick off human walls
Walked the Logrus and turned my brain into swiss cheese. It was bizzare and pretty horrible. Hope I never have to do that again. I've been acting weird, so it's difficult to say how long it's going to take to do anything, since half-way through I might flip out and decide to do something completely different. It's pretty scary and I hope it doesn't last long, but I don't hold out that much hope for a speedy recovery - previous examples are against it. I'm not even going to ask how many people have managed to accidently off themselves after walking it - something tells me the answer wouldn't be reassuring.
For a while after walking it I thought I was the pope, until Ericol did something fairly violent with a coach and I woke up a bit more together. Maybe I bumped my head or something because when Ericol woke me up I could hardly remember anything. All I wanted to do was go home where I'd feel safe, but Ericol wouldn't let me - wanted me to stay in Amber. I remembered enough to know that Ericol was not to be trusted, especially when Chaos was involved in the argument. Maybe he thought I could be re-integrated while I was confused? My dad turned up looking like someone else and was freaking out about people trying to kill me. Actually, he was right, but I didn't understand what the hey was going on at the time.
Give me four score men and a goodly amount of powder and I swear this foul company shall be banished from the eyes of Thing and Man. Thou shalt not suffer a bitch to live, or verily and yea nor shall a bastard be spared. Henceforth all shades of blue be shunned, even the blue of thy Quink Ink, tasty though it be. For darkness fills the mind and all horrors pale before the fury of The Thing long may its abscence prevail lest we
We ended up at the Academy for some reason, can't quite remember why. Benny turned up and for a minute there I thought he was really mad with me because he came at me with his sword. Turns out that Dalt or someone was standing right by me in invisible mode. What was he doing there? Was he trying to kill me too? Anyway he ran and Benny went chasing after him. Ericol kept trying to take my Trumps - he wanted to take me back to Amber. He also did something with the Pattern to make himself (and me) 3D and that hurts man. Then I got a call from that guy I hardly ever see - Vogel. Someone was standing next to him with a crossbow and I just sorta froze up. Ericol keeps saying what a good shot it was, but even I could hit someone if they were just standing there panicking! I think Ericol likes me about as much as I like him - possibly less.
Ericol tried Trumping Benedict, but couldn't, so he asked me to - I didn't know how at the time so he had to tell me and I was shot and it hurt real bad and generally I'm amazed I got through. Benny was still chasing the other guy, but he came through anyway, even though he said he'd nearly caught up with him. He pulled the bolt out which I think hurt more than it did going in! Then he said we should get out of there and started taking us to some place or another. We had to go past the tree and I remembered that there was something dodgy about it, but he said it wouldn't hurt me despite what I'd done, which is a fairly accusitory way of putting it. Is he annoyed with me for it? I should talk to him next time I'm in my right mind ... I owe him such a lot and I don't know how to pay him back. It bothers me.
I must have passed out or fallen asleep or something, because next thing I remember is Ericol waking me up (again - must have something against letting a sleeping Ickus lie). I was at one of Benny's places, but I thought I was a prisoner - well, The Prisoner to be more accurate. Ericol gave me something to eat, it was pretty horrible though. Benny came back and made something more edible, then told us we should meditaork and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes Jack a dull bot boy bell sell fell well no, not so well thank you what this world needs is a proper hedgerow adnja3uy811(&"`¬@#~}dgdgdgdich is where at least part of my brain had been trying to get to all along ... better late than never, I suppose.
Mandor agreed with my theory that it was one of The Duke's criminy I can't move I'm so scared oh jeez he's so big but I can't leave him here like this I can't I can't I can't kids, probably Jurt - the nutter (not that I'm in a position to look down my nose at anyone mentally right now). I wasn't sure what to do about it, since even supposing I could have found him, he'd have probably just finished the job he'd started. Mandor said he'd help, which saved me having to ask him. To be honest I wasn't sure if he'd have the time now he's a Duke take cover oh shit don't look at me that way and everything, not to mention the fact that he's my boss these days and a refusal often offends aardvarks.
He said we'd probably need a Pattern user and since Ericol still owed me some I decided to rake in the favour. We stopped off at the tree to ask it if it had seen Jurt, which it had, zooming into Amber territory. We went to the Academy to pick up the bolt with only minor, Gromble shaped difficulties and set up the Shadow for that place before heading out to Fiona. Fiona did something weird with the bolt (she said it was also a spying device - gee I hope Jurt had a good time watching the Academy). She kissed me and Ericol! Blech, desperate woman. Mandor was complaining because he didn't get one - next time I'll give him a fuzzy Bugs Bunny smackeroo just to see the look on his face! After that Ericol used the bolt to track down my would-be assassin.
We got to some sort of castle and ended up at his room. Ericol started arguing with us pretty loud, so I shoved the door down before the guy on the other side could get himself too ready. Ericol attacked him and got hit a couple of times because he objected to me telling him that we wanted the guy alive. Still, he was better than Jurt and Jurt started to make a run for it. I tackled him and got gashed for my trouble - I gotta stop doing things like that. Mandor healed me up and Ericol whopped Jurt unconscious. Found a crossbow and a whole bunch of those bolts with various peoples names on them - even my dad's! Mandor's got those now, I wonder what he's gonna do with them? He said he hung them on the Logrus or something extra multidimensional thingy. Something else to learn.
Mandor took us all to some weird place of his, a big, walk-in silver ball. It even had a black room! The idea was to interrogate Jurt, but we had Ericol with us, so you can imagine how it went. Oh yeah, there were a whole bunch of people waiting to be snortched. Mandor says he'll get round to it sooner or later, even though he isn't an official snortch anymore. Personally I think you either have it or you don't - and he's got it.
Well, Jurt woke up and he and Ericol started arguing straight away - it's difficult to talk to someone when they're arguing. I asked Jurt why he was trying to wipe out half my family and he said it was because we'd killed The Duke like a big blue elephant only a lot scarier oh god what's that I can't do that don't ask me to do that Jurt was asking to be given a sword and Ericol was saying we should let him and both were insisting that they could have each other - it was pretty funny.
Mandor was over at a desk fiddling with his cards and he said that Jurt might be an Amberite. When he mentioned the information sheet he'd given me, I cottened on to what he was on about. We did a sort of blood test which (apparently) prooved it and I was allowed to break the happy news. Neither of them believed me and Jurt even went so far as to say that 'everybody' knew I was loyal to Amber, which was just hilarious under the circumstances. Ericol got really ticked off with me and Mandor taking the piss and I can kinda see why, 'cos we didn't let up for a second - he went off in a huff to see Gerard.
Not long after that Gerard called me and him and Ericol came back through. For some reason my bro turned up as well. It was all terribly complicated by that time, because Despall was there too and everyone was either up in arms or in fits of laughter (no peanuts for guessing who was doing what). Anyway, seems that Mandor had videod the whole thing and Jurt and Despall were, in fact, Iandoc and Jaz. You know, I still think Ericol's reaction was a bit weird - I really thought he would have been happier than he was, even if we were pissing him off. No pleasing some people.
out the other side. The battle lasted but forty years and alls well that ends well when you're in a traffic jam, after all. The Thing is dead. Long live the Thing.
Things have improved on the Bardok side of things, quite considerably in fact. I had a word with Mandor about it and he says he's not going to kill him which makes my life a whole heap easier. Bardok was suitably ungrateful so I told him what I told Ericol - "Scuff his boots and I scuff your face". At least this way they can't claim ignorance, or cry foul, right? Just so long as that info stays with the kids I should be alright, who knows how it would go down elsewhere? Don't understand the half of it yet and ignorance is so dangerous!
I went to breakfast in Amber to sort out that meeting with Hendrake, turned out to be pretty pointless, but hey. I was in a bit of a weird mood anyway and somehow managed to insult just about everybody. Julian capped the morning off by revealing that he was a Monster Hunter - git! Oh well, I went home after that before I sparked off a war or something ... maybe I'd do just as well to stay home until I've got my head sorted out. If they let me, that is. You know, it's a strange job - I haven't actually been told to do anything yet.
As well as timing out to talk to Benny, I think maybe a chat with Suhey is order too, since I haven't seen the dude since I got off the Logrus and I ought to at least thank him. I was just about to say that maybe he could help me scrape my brain into some kind of order, but that's a pretty silly idea considering - might as well ask my dad for all the good it would do. The blind leading the blind.
Spent a bit of time talking to Vogel and Ericol. Vogel says he didn't know the guy was trying to kill me, but I think I'll assume the worst and be cautious. Ericol got his revenge verbally, which is a first and managed to make me feel pretty uncomfortable. He used things he'd said he wouldn't use to do it, so I guess that teaches me a lesson. Why do I get on so badly with my Amber relatives? Is it their problem or mine? Maybe it's just because I'm different, or maybe it's just because I'm so nervous of them because they're so different? Maybe it's a bit of both ... I should try harder.
Don't let it moose your mind!
Still living in the land of the perpetually paranoid ... the trouble with this is it doesn't actually seem to matter what I do or where I go - I can get into trouble anywhere. Even something as pedestrian as going to say thanks to Suhey can turn into a disaster. Bit of a bummer actually, I had a few questions for him as well and he's gone completely gonzo on us. You know, I've been thinking about just getting Mandor to lock me up till it's all over, but I'd hate it, I know I would. Can't bear being locked up anywhere, even The Village - though it has to be said that it's preferable to the multitude of other places one could be locked up.
Anyway, like I said I went to see Suhey - and boy, has he been redecorating or what? At the end of the Ways there's a sort of revolving door that takes you into a horror hotel or something ... The Blue Parrot. At first I wasn't that worried, because you never know quite what your going to find in House Zephre. I was given a room key and went up in a lift to get to it. There were a whole buncha weirdos in the lift, but I think the priest was the creepiest.
The room I'd been given the key to was okay, I guess. At least there was some food under the bed. I was looking for Suhey, but all I found was a bunch of photographs which (if Mandor wasn't just pulling my ears) were of two humans trying to procreate - ugh! I found one of the humans in the photos out on the ledge. He said he wanted to jump, but he couldn't fly. Humans - go figure. He took a dive when I showed him the photo and I still wanted to ask him a couple of things, so I followed him. I ended up back in the lobby somehow.
I was pretty convinced that I'd managed to get lost in the Ways by this point and everything started to go horribly wrong. There was some woman who threatened me with a gun when I was trying to leave so when she put it in her bag I thought "fine, I'll just grab the gun and point it at people until they let me go". I didn't know the bag was part of her, how could I?! She didn't look like a daemon, she looked like a human.
She was really pissed off with me, so I legged it back to the room Suhey was supposed to be in. I ended up getting harrassed into signing for a bible or something. The more I think about that the more I reckon I made a mistake signing anything - even if it wasn't my name. Maybe I should show the book to Mandor and ask him how stupid it was to take it ...
Take off! Take off! We don't stand a chance with these darn pencils in our ears ... why do slime pies always land slime side down? When I grow up I want to be a menace to society just like all my fiends ... I wonder why my head keeps buzzing - maybe I swallowed a wasp or summat? Jimgle bells Batman smells time and tide waits for no monster no matter how disgusting he is hang on a second ... why can I see everything I'm thinking?!
AaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhHHH! Oh, wait ... that's better ...
Where was I? Oh yeah, the hotel. Well, from talking to/getting harrassed by various people, I discovered I needed an exit pass or something. I was getting a bit panicky by this time, though perhaps I ought to curtail my more violent tendancies a little, because they don't ever seem to get me anywhere but in trouble. It was theraputic chucking that bloke's desk out the window though.
I was supposed to pay for the pass and they didn't take toenails, so I went back to the casino and shook a few people down. Rick wasn't impressed and then a bunch of people called Germans came along and pointed guns at me. I've decided I really don't like guns at all, people keep pointing them at me and getting shot hurts. Maybe I should get one (unloaded - I wouldn't trust myself with a loaded one right now). That way maybe I can point it at people and stop them from hurting me?
The Germans arrested me and took me to a room to get interrogated/snortched because they thought I'd killed one of them and stolen a pass. Well, unless you count the guy that jumped when I showed him the pictures, I think I'm pretty innocent. The interrogator looked a lot like Mandor, but didn't know the password. He got annoyed with me real quick (most people seem to actually) and this guy in a white coat came in with a needle. I thought they were gonna torture me or something, so I changed to daemon form and hid under the table. They still stuck me with the needle though and it did odd things to my head. They asked me lots of questions after that and I couldn't tell the truth no matter how hard I tried - I told them I had killed one of them and when I said I'd stay put they left me alone for a while. I dug my way through the floor and ended up back in the lobby.
I didn't want to run into the woman again, but I did while I was trying to get back to Suhey's room. She wanted to know if I was interested in her - I'm not entirely sure what she meant, but it had ominous overtones and she probably wanted to kiss me or something - *shudder*. I said yes, curse me. Couldn't tell the truth at all and ended up getting dragged down the corridor ... she's pretty strong, whatever she is.
Luckily it was round about then that all my prayers were answered and I got a Trump call. It was Vogel, which was a surprise and a bit worrying, considering. I figured anything had to be better than the fate awaiting me in 'her room', so I got him to pull me out. Nearly died of relief when I found out Vogel was with Mandor - who would have thought that visiting relatives would be so dangerous?! Oh yeah, Nod turned up. Why he couldn't have turned up earlier when I needed the company, I don't know.
Still had a bit of trouble bacause of the truth thing, but I got the general situation over via mental stuff. Mandor figured out how we could get out, but we crashed for the night and I wasn't myself at all when I woke up.
The Commendant was obviously at work here, though perhaps I had recived some head injury whilst fighting the guards, for I was under the impression that I was a glove for some time. There was a white haired conjourer with me and a small foul creature that claimed to be my servant, but was not, obviously, as it could talk. I threw off the creature and with the aid of the conjourer was whisked away to some other part of the earth to fight some great evil. Well, that's my job after all.
Some callow youth contacted me in a most peculiar fashion and gave me a horse that was no-where near as good as my usual stallion. It was a strange land full of things called 'cars' that moved at great speed along the roads with no horses. The people there all appeared quite insane, particularly one slip of a boy who claimed not only to be in charge, but to be my brother. Perhaps it was a holy mission?
Woke up better - I think I was better - hard to tell. Breakfast was quite good and I used the Logrus to get it, which is a first! Brought in more than I was expecting and it wore me out. No-one told me it was so tiring, but Mandor said that was because I hadn't asked. I dunno, ask questions and people tell you to mind your own business, don't ask questions and get told it serves you right. People!
Bardok came and apologised, as promised. Seemed satisfactory anyway. Then we went out to this sort of flying ship thing. I got shot while I was in it and when I complained, Vogel said anyone that didn't like it could leave. Me and Mandor did.
I was having a bit of trouble following the situation, having spent the previous day convinced I was Zorro. There were these people messing about in up and down airplanes called hell coppers or something - it all went pretty hellishly, actually. Ericol was there and apparently had been looking for The Duke's
aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! real kids. He's much worse than I am ... madder that's for sure. Anyway, he seems to have stirred them up because all the people shooting at us worked for them. There was a storm as well they said was some sort of primal chaos, which doesn't sound so bad to me, but there you go. I don't really understand all the ins and out of this one yet, so perhaps I'd better go back to Amber real soon and find out, because Mandor says we ought to keep an eye on the situation (though we can't actually do anything about it because of politics). I should visit dad anyway, see how he's doing.
On a personal level, I'm not sure where I stand on this one, actually. They appear to be chaosing up some Shadows, which suits me just fine. Trouble is they're part of The Thing The Thing lives The Thing is coming which kinda makes me nervous just on principle. I'm pretty sure that they ain't gonna be even remotely happy to see me where I am and I sure don't want to see them. Are they part of House Sawall? Can they have me thrown out, thrown down, eternally snortched? Or is Chaos gonna be cautious of them because of what The Duke make it stop stop we can't go on like this did?
Mandor's kinda busy doing some sums or something to try and figure out what they're up to - I'd like to know too. Still, it's kinda dull to watch, so I gave the Trump of The Fount a whirl while he was sleeping (I'll let him see it when he's over it).
The Fount's really cool, just like the Pool of Ancesters! Lots of fire spurting out everywhere ... shame you can't touch it and a pity I didn't get the chance to talk to it really. I'd only just turned up and all these dudes were pointing guns at me, which is getting to be a really bad habit. I'm not entirely daft, so I swallowed the Trump and stuck my hands straight up.
Random turned up and made me go into this little room with him - wasn't pleased to see me there at all. He said something about 'this is your life' and made me take a card, which turned out to be The Moon. Kinda sums my life up pretty well actually, until recently it was a whole buncha lies ... maybe lies is too strong a word, but it's still pretty hard to reconcile being a monster with everything/everyone else. Okay, so I'm still a little pissed off with dad about that ... ANYway, let's just hope that my nearest and dearest have minimised the bullshit they're dealing me. Dad's mad anyway, he can't help himself anymore than I can when I flip out. I wonder if Bleys was telling the truth when he said he'd walked the Logrus? Hmm ... not sure if I want to know.
Random was pretty keen to get the Fount Trump off of me and I was just as keen to keep hold of it. I tried lying, but he didn't believe me and was threatening to sift through my head or do impromptu surgery. I decided I'd rather face Benedict if there was going to be any snortching done, he never gets angry like Random does and he's already been in my head - better the snortch you know. God, Amberites are so-o touchy.
I got pain attacked and passed through to Benny, who took me to some place where he was keeping Dalt. Benny said I was mad and couldn't be trusted and it was for my own good, etc, etc ... Had me real worried for a while, I thought he was going to lock me up whether I gave him the card or not. I can see why Dalt didn't want to be locked up with me - I wouldn't want to be locked up with me the way I've been lately, who knows what I'd do if I woke up funny and couldn't get away? Dalt also said that my brother had raped his mother ... I looked it up and sorta cross-referenced it with mindrape and wasn't very happy about the conclusion. Dalt's lying, I don't believe him at all. It's a mean thing to say.
I made Benny promise not to give the card to anyone else and give it back to me when he thought I was alright again. He knows me pretty well and I kinda sorta trust him, more than most people anyway. He kept saying I wasn't listening, which is odd, 'cos I was - well, I was trying to at any rate. I'm not entirely sure what he meant actually ... people are strange, am I ever going to get used to them? They have odd ideas. Mandor keeps saying I'm dangerous and Benny seems to agree, but personally I think I'm pretty harmless compared to the rest of my relatives.
Look not for the problem in the stars but in yourself ... write it down, stupid, I can't see it if you say it. Don't call me stupid! And what would you know about it, anyway? Quite a lot actually Well, push off - I don't care what you think You ought to. If you can't listen to yourself who are you going to listen to? People who make more sense for a start. Oh that's right ... just go ahead and hassle me. Why don't you shoot me or hurt me, everyone else has? You're being silly now. Well, that makes two of us - or should that be one of us? I'm not sure. When's it going to stop? This is confusing! Hah! You think you're confused, you should try being in here. Uh, no thanks ... look, go away; take a powder; make like a tree and leave. You're freaking me out! Suit yourself - you'll want to talk to me sooner or later, mark my words ... This is scary! Everything's scary - get a grip. It'll be a lot easier to get a grip when your gone! This is the thanks I get, is it? try to exercise a little existential assistance and what do you get? Shunned ...
Haven't had a very good few days, but it's looking up now, thank goodness ... I hope it lasts. Mandor was, and is, busy with the math I mentioned last time. He wanted to stick at it, so I went to Amber to do my job - while I was still in a state to get it done, yes?
When I got through to the courtyard, Ericol was dancing around naked, singing a song, not sure why. Jurt was there, threatening Amanfist with violence (like father like son, eh?). I exchanged a few unpleasantries with him, but Amanfist said he could handle it, so I left him to it. Oberon and Fiona were in the hall looking over some maps. I offered to be an advisor, like Mandor said to, and my brother sent me out to see what one of the armies were doing. There were four, they said. One in a place called Cadwell, one approaching Shadow Earth, one zigzaging about and one that they couldn't find (I'm not sure how they knew it was there if they couldn't find it). I was on the zig-zag one.
Fiona made a weird sort of Shadow tunnel for me to go along, which she said would get me there quicker. It was made with Pattern, so I tried not to leak Logrus or anything. I was following the army, though they just seemed to be wandering around pretty aimlessly in the general direction of Amber. Maybe they were just a distraction or maybe they were looking for something. I went a bit strange then, I'd been out there a while. I thought I was my brother.
Went back to Amber and started creating a bit of a fuss - cripes. I ordered the guards to arrest my bro and they wisely ignored me. Then I thought I'd got the Serpent's eye and tried to deck Fiona when Oberon told her to sort me out. I got frozen again and had to spend most of the day seething in my tomb until I snapped out of it. Maybe all that seething was a bad thing, 'cos when I got out I started being really fucking rude to everyone. I've got some pretty tolerant relatives, I guess, because I'd have hit me for some of the things I said.
It was all pretty confusing, I must say. I tried talking to dad about the bastard Logrus thing, like, had he walked it or anything. He wouldn't say, he was in one of his more difficult moods - mind you, I wasn't asking very sodding nicely. When I went back to my brother and cussed dad, I guess he finally lost his rag with me because he threw me in Hell.
Went back to Chaos and insulted that loser, Mandor - if it happens like that again I think I'd better let myself be locked up before somebody kills me. I'm sorry for just about everything I did, but I'm not sure if anyone believes me. Why couldn't I have just sworn at Bardok or that prat Ericol ... at least I'd have meant some of it then. Still, at least I didn't cuss out all the folks I care about - just most of 'em.
Mandor said that if the armies attacked Amber and it looked like they had weakened Amber enough, then Chaos would take over. Wasn't sure what to do after that, even in sarcasm mode. It'll happen one day, won't it? Then what will I do? I mean, if it was just a case of taking over, then fine, doesn't matter to me who runs the place - but wars mean death, I've seen that much. So many people died last time. Why do Amber and Chaos hate each other so much? I know the history and all, but it doesn't seem worth such a terrible price. Got relatives and friends on both sides, I don't want them to kill each other.
Get thee to a place of safety before thy blood flows free as the wind and all the innards all the bone and flesh rent asunder in the ghastly mire. Madness being what it is and not always so easy to see as in thee, my dearest blood! Thou hast touched death on the face and found it hidious beyond thy wildest reckonings. The Thing stalks the land, albeit cleft in twain - Thing it is - and Thing it shall remain ...
*Sigh*. Still wasn't quite right when I woke up - thought I was dad and went off looking for myself (which would be deep if it wasn't so sad). I seem to be getting worse instead of better. Mandor suggested I try to find Oberon. All the Trumps had gone warm except the two Pattern ones, so I called on the blank one and got sucked through to the Spikard place in the Abyss. Luckily, Krysalis (Player comment - Ickus comes from the school of creative spelling) was there and put what she thought was my old man up for the night.
Finally woke up in a relatively sane state of mind. Pity I had to remember all the dumb things I'd been doing really ... went down to talk to Krysalis, but she was busy, so I tried to shake off my hangover/indigestion while I waited. Boy, did I have some explaining to do, or what? She took it pretty well, considering the fact that it's the first time I've told her the absolute truth about me. Let's face it, the first time I told her I was Vomit, then Slickus, then I drank all her drink, ate all her food and ate half her table - all breaches of etiquette according to the book. I told her I was mad and why ... she said it sounded pretty horrible. Sympathy, ahh, I haven't had any of that for a while.
She said she likes me, which makes her only the third person to actually say that - mind you, one of those was Ericol, so let's say the second. She asked about Trumps, so I showed her my deck and gave her a rough and completely partisan description of the family. If she's going to start associating with us, someone ought to tell her what's what and where's where - it's kinda nice to have someone around that knows less than I do about it all. 'Course she actually looks like one of them, so she'll probably have a better time of it than I did. Mind you, compared to the rest of my relatives (if you don't count Daemon form) she actually looks okay. Fair is foul and foul is fair, travel through the foul and filthy air!
She wanted to borrow my Courts card, which made me kinda nervous. Still, she let me go with her while she played with it, which is always a good thing - I prefer to keep these things in sight. When she'd done, she said she wanted to visit right away, which is cool because with the others it's normally 'later' or 'sometime, maybe'. She made a sort of tree-lined path up to the top of the Abyss - freaked the guards a bit. Pretty neat, I thought.
Persuaded Mandor to take a break and come out with us. Went to the bowling alley, but I think she'd have had a better time if she'd brought the Spikard with her, 'cos being away from it seemed to make her really uncomfortable. She didn't stay long because she wanted to get back to it, but she said she'd be back real soon because she wanted to see everything (nice to meet someone else with a healthy sense of curiosity too). I checked with Obe when I called to apologise and he says it's okay. Groovy! Just hope I'm sane next time she visits.
Called dad too, I felt bad about the way I'd behaved. He sort of fell out of the Trump and it didn't take long to figure out that he thought he was someone else. He kept saying he wouldn't answer any questions and I wonder if that's got anything to do with the question I asked him earlier - or is that too paranoid? Either way, I don't think I'm going to get any straight answers from my relatives on family matters. I don't know why they won't tell me, unless there's something awful they don't want me to know about?
I never did get around to visiting The Pool of Ancestors, so I think once dad's more or less himself again I'll drop by. I want to see Krumm and Oblina again anyway and I've got a few questions for The Pool. My ancestors will answer if they can, won't they? If they are my ancestors ... it said it was and The Pool wouldn't lie, would it? Why would it lie to me? And if it's my ancestors, my momma at least must have been a monster, even if dad isn't. I'm glad we got that sorted.
Sorted, is it? Sorted? Still don't know what we are, don't know where we belong, mad as Zimbo on skankum - doesn't sound sorted to me ... Oh, it's you again, the voice of doom. I am not! Sauce!
PS:
Whoa! Dad came out of it pretty good this time! I noticed the room going dark, though Nod didn't seem to see it. Dad was ... well, he was sane - pretty totally as far as I could tell. I haven't seen him that sane for a long time, maybe ever. I wish he was like that all the time ... heck, I wish I was like that all the time.
He did something to Nod so that he wouldn't follow; froze him or something. He said he was going to a meeting and led me along to this sorta dark and starry place. Since he was with it, I decided I had better ask all the questions I could while I had the chance (who knows when he'll be like that again?). I asked him if he'd ever lie to me deliberately and he said no (unless he was out to lunch), so I had my best listening ears on.
We met up with another Dworkin (he was having a meeting with himself, all the diffrent bits that knew diffrent things). I asked if he'd ever walked the Logrus, but he wasn't entirely sure - probably, he said. He also said that what made him insane was knowing everything, even the things that can't be known. I decided to alter my life's ambition there and then - I wanna know most things now, not everything ...
I asked about mom. This is a difficult one ... she's, well ... she's The Pool - and The Unicorn and quite a few other things as well apparently. I'll have to go see her, as The Pool, obviously. I'm not ready for anything else, not yet. I still don't understand much of it. I mean, I'm a monster, right? I look like one and eat like one and I am one. So how come Oberon and the rest look like humans? Actually it's kinda scary. Nothing new there, right? I think I've found a constant thing in my ever-changing life - fear. Well ... I guess it's my own fault for asking - I promised myself I wouldn't and I did 'cos I had to because not knowing was driving me even nuttier than I already am. Does that make sense? No, not really ... nothing really makes a lot of sense right now.
Hey-ho. The more dad's that turned up the worse he got, 'till he was his old self again. I asked him to put me back before things got too out of hand.
Had a chat with a bewildered Nod when I got back. I didn't want to tell him about what I'd learned though ... 'spersonal, you know? I'll probably tell Mandor, depends what sort of a mood he's in. He's my buddy, he'll understand, won't he? Let's face it, if I can't tell him I can't tell anyone. I wonder if he'll go with me to see mom? Hope so, I don't wanna be alone - I don't know how she's going to react! %!!(***&20:29\|<>?
Oh yeah, something else to ask him; I had a kinda thought about Nod, like maybe he's a relay station for King Asteroth or something? Not a happy thought, particularly as I was just getting to kinda like the little guy. His full name's Nodding Thup Thistlewaite as well, apparently. He says that if I call him by it, he'll probably appear. Is this cool, or not? Maybe I should go see the King, get to know him better. It's not like in Amber where you see the King all the time ...
I posted a message to Krysalis via the white Trump - didn't want to hassle her or anything. Gave her my spare Trump of me (Vomit) so she can call me if she wants next time she's out. I'd like to be the tour guide and I think it's actually pretty diplomatic too, so I'll be fufilling my job spec as well as having fun.
Okay, so now I'm thouroughly confused and uncertain, I think the best ploy is to make the barkeep happy and go get plastered with Nod. Nothing like a drink or fifty to make you forget your worries ...