I went to Amber properly this time and so I decided to start a diary, because I'm sure there'll be lotsa interesting stuff to put in it now, at least until the party ... they might not want me to hang around all the time and once I've met everyone properly it'll probably be back to normal, I guess. Maybe I can visit.
There were a few metal 3D thingies hanging around the dump - one of them ate the fridge I was hiding in. I went to blow up the building creating them and I think I did (with the aid of my compass, of course). When I got back this person from Chaos ate The Gromble and scared me, so I trumped Dad and he made him spit The Gromble out. The Gromble was upset and so I figured I could safely skip classes for a day. Me and Dad did a scare which went great! Then he took me to the Abyss - it's a big, misty hole - fishing. We didn't catch anything. Dad gave me a trump of a purple place and went home.
Did a good scare with Krumm and Oblina then got bored and decided to try the purple trump. I ended up with a bunch of mantas who let me inhale some flower thing which gave me a weird dream about some woman with golden eyeballs and a really nice smell.
One of the lady people on the cards (Flora, I think) called me and asked a lot of questions. She asked me to come through, then straight away, just about, handed me through to a man people called Bardock who turned out to be my nephew or something. He was with Jules, Ericol, Lila and Vogel - more of my nephews and nieces. They said I was a weapon, but not scary at all, which is the only trouble with Amber ... all my relatives - except Dad - look like people but they're not scared. The servants were though ... I'm not a total flop.
I checked with Dad and he said I should look after them and he sent a sick note to The Gromble to cover for me. We went on a plane and I pulled off a really big scare but nearly got shot ... I'll have to be more careful. I'm not really sure what we were doing, but we fought some monsters and I ate one and everyone seemed to be happy with that. It's hard to tell what's going to make them happy around Amber ... the rules are so different.
When we went back, I decided to take a proper look around and try to meet/scare some of the peoples on the cards. There are gardens which are tidy and full of little trees that taste horrible. There are dungeons, which are really excellent (they even have buckets of monster food). There are unused bits with dust and cobwebs and spiders - I liked those, but they're a bit creepy when you're on your own. There are lots and lots of rooms that the peoples use and near the top is where the Amber Gromble lives. He's called Random and they call some Grombles Kings here.
Random was banging drums and he asked me what I was doing, so I showed him and he fed me a chair (it was a good one) but then he cut my finger because he thought I was going to attack him, so I guess I scared him too. He mended my finger but then Benedict came in and was really mad with me for tasting his tree. I think he's The Gromble's Gromble, because he's the scariest thing ever, apart from Dad who can scare him.
Benedict did the worst things to me that anyone's ever done. Even The Gromble wouldn't do the things he did! He caught me no matter what shape I tried and looked in my head (proof positive - he's a Gromble) He took all my things and put me with lady peoples who were stronger than me and washed me and perfumed me and put bows on me! Aaahh! He let me go and made me promise not to eat his yukky trees and said he still had the negatives. If The other monsters ever see those I'm finished!
I went back home to get decent again and then went back with another tree. He seemed to like the tree and said he wouldn't show the negatives to The Gromble as long as I behaved. The trouble is, figuring out what's okay to eat and what isn't. Benedict went really nice after that and gave me a drink that was okay after I added the earwax and he explained the ground rules for the party. I wonder how long he'll stay nice? I think he must be a real monster, because only a monster could be that scary.
I'm allowed to bring Krumm and Oblina to the party, so all we have to do
now is figure out a way to skip classes that day. I brought back a cool picture of Lila and Jules melting together, so maybe this people thing is all just a disguise? Lila said it would scare people more if I was a people and then a monster, so maybe that's why they all play people so much of the time? Yeah, if they're relations they must be monsters, right? Hey, I figured it out! So maybe it won't be so difficult after all. On the other hand, I think I got Lila and Jules into trouble by accident, so there must be more new rules I don't know about ...
Oh phlegm, I haven't had a very good few days. So far I've managed to discover that nothing I've ever done has been relevant to my family at all - my dad's some sort of huge power guy and I can't even talk to him most of the time. The only time he seems to make any sense is when he's Slickus, which isn't often. From the way my relatives treat me, I'm beginning to wonder if my whole life hasn't just been some kind of joke for their amusement. Add to that the fact that I've totally humiliated myself (without any help at all) and generally just been a nuisance, I guess a little bitterness and self-pity can't do any harm at this point ...
I guess it started to go downhill at breakfast. I'd brought Oblina and Krumm with me so they got to witness my "family" bickering about sex over breakfast. Me, I just wanted to disappear.
The big guy, Gerard, decided to beat up on the people that were slagging off his son (Ericol). The Amber Gromble showed me their version of The Pool of Ancestors which they call The Pattern. Apparently if you step on it, it can kill you - great, just what I want to do - not! After that Gerard made us all go out on a run, which I thought was just a bit of fun, right? Well, while we were running Lila started trying out different shapes, because she's not very good at running I guess. Gerard didn't seem to like this, so I started asking some questions and apparently most of the family can't change shape at all. This got me thinking about things, like maybe dad isn't Slickus at all, maybe he's really Dworkin, maybe that's who he really is, you know?
This was a tad upsetting - I mean, what's with all the Slickus stuff? A lie? Another shade of madness? Either way I wanted some answers and so far the only guy that had given me any useful information had been The Snortch, Benedict, so I quit running and went to his garden to think about it while I waited for him to show up. Next thing I know Gerard's trying to beat up on me for quitting the run. That's not even remotely fair, is it? Anyway, the only thing Benedict said was that I should meditate ... on what? Meditate on how little I knew?!
Okay, so I wasn't in a very good mood by the time it came to the party and when Gerard tried to trick me into thinking that I'd actually scared Lila, I got real upset with the lot of them. I thought they were laughing at me, you know? When Lila grabbed one of Krumm's eyeballs I hit her, then I waited till most of the family were outside and scared the whole scabbing party. I knew I wasn't supposed to do that, but I needed a scare to show The Gromble and I figured it served them right ...
After the scare I dropped Oblina and Krumm back at home and decided to get as much information about Amber as I could. I already knew that asking wasn't going to get me anywhere so I snuck back to Amber and used the plumbing to get into their Gromble's office. There wasn't much of interest on his desk, which is a pity because I got into trouble for nothing. There was this guy hiding in the office (from the cards - Corwin) he was looking for something and after a mutually distrustful chat, I thought 'oh well, I'm caught now anyway' and decided to clue Random in. Random's card didn't work so I called The Snortch who said he wasn't going to torture me right away. Funnily enough he seemed real pleased to see Corwin, which just kinda highlighted my astounding ignorance for me. I snuck away and decided to hit the library to see if any of the answers were there. I found a book by Bill Roth that covered just about everything, but not in much detail.
After a while, Lila turned up and said she was sorry about Krumm's eyeball, so I said I was sorry I hit her. She said that I wasn't in as much trouble as I thought I was and then went off somewhere with this guy. I thought about it and then took a stroll to the main hall to see if she was right. Corwin and Benedict were there and I figured I'd have plenty of time to run if I needed to. This turned out to be a mistake. I'm not sure what they did (power word? Is that what it was?) but I couldn't move until they'd locked me into the cell without any of my stuff. I couldn't get out any other way, so I started to attack the bars on the door ... I heard Benedict showing Corwin the pictures of the last time he Snortched me.
It wasn't that long before they let me out and this time there was this little girl who they said would follow me everywhere I went. Boy, I really had to beg to get that lifted ... I think crossing Benedict again might be a really bad idea, I don't think he'd let me off a second time and boy would I have trouble explaining that girl to The Gromble. Okay, so later on Random took me out into Shadow like he said he would - he didn't seem ticked off at all about the office, so I guess he knew I'd already been Snortched. He told me that I could set up a shadow of myself to cover me with The Gromble, which really is the first truly useful thing to come out of this whole mess. While we were out there Random got shot in the arm by some guy with brown hair. After he'd patched himself up I took him back to the place I blew up and we picked up the casings from the bullets where he got shot, but I don't think he found out much.
I was kicking my heels when Morganth came to ask me if I wanted to go somewhere with the others. She started talking about dreams they'd had, one of which I'd had after sniffing that flower. I didn't really see the point in me going along though and there were things I wanted to find out before I started running around with them anyway. I was still pretty sure I was just a novelty item and besides, Lila had mislead me once already.
Well, despite the fact that Benedict is the oldest of my nephews and nieces (according to the book, anyway) he didn't seem to know too much about dad. All I'd found out so far is that dad drawn The Pattern with a jewel or eyeball he'd stolen from Chaos, which used to be his home. That and the fact that he's supposed to be mad, hugely powerful and everyone's scared of him (the last of which I've always known.)
I knew from the book and from dad that Chaos had a pool called The Logrus. Since The Logrus is supposed to have come before The Pattern, I figured that if I could find out who'd drawn that, I could find someone who'd know more about dad - let's face it, I don't really know who he is. So I trumped myself to Chaos, which turned out to be my biggest mistake yet - well, according to Amber anyway.
I chose the ferret form to sneak about Chaos, because I know they don't seem to like me too much. I don't know why exactly, guilt by association I think.
I went to the Logrus house which was called Suhey Ways. When I went into a pipe my head kinda buzzed for a second, so maybe that's how he knew I was coming. Either way, when I slid out the pipe (with some unseen assistance) I landed in a chair like the one at the academy and the restraints kicked in. After being asked some questions about lights, this person called Suhey came to talk to me. He seemed like an okay guy, except he didn't like my dad. He was a lot like dad actually ... impossible to talk to just about.
Suhey didn't seem to want to talk about dad and what he did say wasn't nice, so I asked for a person who would be almost as old as Suhey, that I could talk to. He told me it was the King Swayville that was supposed to be dead - I had to promise not to tell anyone. I figured seeing the Chaos Gromble might be tricky, but then I remembered how I'd got into Random's office so I thought 'what the heck'.
Getting into the palace was harder than I thought. I flew in through a window and ended up spending ages trying to map my way out of some sort of maze. There was an electric piece of string in there which said it was a spy. Once I'd gotten out of the room I spent a while wandering around trying to get my bearings. Things didn't go so well, I guess - the last thing I remember is running away from a buncha Deamons. Fiona says that what happened after that has been burnt out of my head. She could be lying, I suppose, but I guess I'll just have to take her word for it.
As far as I can tell, what happened is that someone or something in Chaos did what they call a Mindrape on me, extracting everything I know and erasing what they didn't want me to remember. Apparently this is a really bad thing, although I'm not entirely clear on why that is yet. They didn't Snortch me, they didn't hurt me at all actually as far as I can tell ... in fact the only bad thing I know about was that they found out something that Bleys, Jules and Lila didn't want them to know. Of course those 'compulsion' things could have been real nasty if I hadn't had it seen to ...
Anyway, in order to avoid being Snortched again by Benedict (who says it was a mistake any youngster could have made - which would never have stopped The Gromble from Snortching me) I've agreed to go back to Chaos to find out who Mindraped me. I'm going with this gypsy guy, called Amanfist who can turn invisible ... he can turn into a glove too - neat.
I suppose we could just go and ask Suhey. Two of the others are coming with us to do something else there as well and I suppose since the Chaos people have already been in my head even if we get caught they won't bother doing it again. It's not like I know that much more or anything. While we're there, I'm wondering if I can find out a bit more about Chaos and maybe see if I can get to this Swayville Gromble this time. I'd really like to talk to him, but I guess it'll be up to Amanfist what we do.
It's a tricky situation. To be honest I'm not sure who's on my side - If any. A lot of them seem to think I'm amusing ... that or a pest. Benedict's a Snortch/Gromble type guy, but sometimes he's nicer to me than the others ever are. At least he doesn't treat me like a joke and you've got to respect someone who can Snortch that well ...
Random's been helpful too and hasn't Snortched me once, so maybe I should talk to him more? That's a definite 'thing to do'. He's a very strange Gromble ... hasn't yelled or anything. Seems kinda busy though.
There are others I haven't talked to enough yet and probably ought to. Flora didn't like my nose. Then there's Gerard, who I think regrets bopping me one, so maybe. Corwin ... I don't think I trust Corwin and as far as I can tell there's something very odd about him right now, though no-ones told me what. Cain seems nice enough and pulled his face off in the pub, I'll definitely add him to the list. Julian, who I haven't really spoken to at all yet so I ought to find out. Bleys - hmm, probably pissed with me, so maybe not. Llewella - as long as she's not in water. Fiona ... well, Benedict didn't seem to trust her entirely so I won't either for now. The younger ones I'm not sure about. How much are they likely to know?
On the other hand, the people in Chaos ought to know more about my dad than the Amber people do and they do seem to be more like real monsters than the Amber people. What rules do they work under? It's worth remembering that it was a Chaos guy that ate The Gromble, I guess and they really don't seem to like Amber people. But how am I gonna know unless I talk to them?
Basically, I'm confused - well, petrified and near hysterical actually. Nothing's what I thought it was and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. The Gromble here doesn't even take classes, let alone assign scares and according to the book, none of that stuff's important here. What do they do? The more I find out now the better, so I guess the information hunt should be my top priority. Start with the library this time?
Why couldn't I have stayed completely ignorant? This partial ignorance is worse than the "you don't wanna know" room ...
Well now, things are looking up! Me and Amanfist went into House Sawall via the plumbing this time and met with a bit more success. After a little fooling around in the pipes, we got ourselves into what turned out to be Dara's room. She had a lot of swords and a pretty tasty cage under her bed - also a picture of Benedict on the wall. We had a look around and then decided to take a look outside. She was waiting for us behind the door and she wasn't in a very good mood with us. All these web things started sticking to me and when I grabbed Dara's ankle she stabbed me! Talk about touchy.
By the time all the web had gone, I was on my own in this weird cellar full of pods or something. I tried tasting the squiggly thing in one of the pods
but it really hurt! The only good thing about it was it made my teeth look ghastly. I found my way out thanks to Ekall who was just wandering around apparently.
I was pretty mad with Chaos, so I stomped right up and demanded to see whoever was in charge. I was sent to this waiting room where everyone had numbers (so really and truely I should have known for sure that this guy was a Snortch). I decided to skip the queue and barged in on this guy with white hair, who's called Mandor. He acted pretty nice and gave me a drink and actually seemed to know quite a lot about my problems - which is probably because I met him last time, follow me? I was real tired and I'm pretty sure he put something in the motor oil, because when I woke up I was in another place called The Village.
When I tried to leave I first got nearly choked on this ball-thing in the sewers, then a white ball rolled into my way all the time and then this silver ball thing spewed Lava all over me which really hurts too. I got all upset and these two guys came to take me to Number Two who was the guy in charge. It turned out to be Mandor again - he can look pretty disgusting when he wants to. We chatted a bit about the situation and parted to think it over. Shortly afterwards a bunch of the kids from Amber called me and pulled me out.
I got Mandor's reply later - via Dara who kinda, sorta apologised for what she'd done. From what I've read this is a real rarity, but since she was only saying it because Benedict told her to and since I'd rather make friends than enemies, I kinda shrugged it off. It's true enough that we got off on the wrong foot and now I know about the knocking rule, there shouldn't be a problem. It seems Mandor decided to take the same line with me as I have with him - wait and see.
I did a bit of research actually, like at the Academy. Dara's a relative of Benedict (which explains why she did as he asked, because nobody else seems particularly prone to obidence.). Despite Mandor's statement that they are the bad guys, I'm still not sure. All I found out about him is that he seems to pretty much run House Sawall and has a reputation for being clever and hospitable. Hmm, not a lot to go on there. He's a good Snortcher though. All I've really learnt from the books that is useful in personal relationships is - trust no-one. Aren't any of these people friends?
I went back to Amber and found out that Amanfist was still not back. After a bit I went back to Chaos and got him. He was okay.
I went through the relatives on the cards that I hadn't really talked to yet. Cain was in the infermary and says he can teach me to change my shape into other things and without the aid of Artifacts too - which should be neat. I can practise being a person so I can scare better - it might help when talking to people too. After that I went to the forest, Arden, to see it and Julian. They're a tad jumpy there and Julian likes to chase things with his dogs. After talking to Cain though, I decided to test the idea that being Dworkin's son made people who didn't know me a bit scared. Seemed to work, he wasn't as pushy as the others at all. I suppose chasing is a bit like scaring, but not enough for my tastes. Being a horse is quite nice when there's a lot of space to run ...
Well, there are storms outside Amber and near Chaos. Strange storms that no-one seems to really understand. I told Random that I could always ask the Chaos folk if they knew anything, so back I went.
I went to see Mandor, hoping that for the moment at least our differences were behind us. Mandor seemed pleased to see me and Bardok and expressed for the second time goodwill towards Fiona. I wonder if that's why Benedict doesn't trust her? Hmm.
While I was talking to Mandor (and telling Bardok not to drink anything) I happened to mention Suhey. At first I thought Mandor had done something, but then I realised that it was only Suhey. I asked him about the storms and he said that we'd have to go to Corwin's realm and stop the things there from creating them. I asked him to put me back with Mandor, but I forgot to include Bardok, who caught up us later via a rocket - didn't knock or anything, but Mandor let it pass.
So now we're at Corwin's place. Corwin isn't very happy with me because I argued with him - he was being pretty silly though and I don't want Krumm and Oblina to get got by any of his stupid storms. It wasn't a serious disagreement - I hope. Dara's annoyed with me too (again). I don't know why.
I'm still not sure where I fit in. Maybe I can kinda move between the two indefinitely? They both have their good points and bad points - though at present Amber seems more genuinely hospitable than Chaos - or was that just because I didn't knock? I think I'll ask for a book of rules for both places and read up on them ... If I'm going to play the game, I ought to know the rules.
I got my second trashcan (on House Sawall's roof of all places), two more Trumps, things at the Academy are fine and I'm learning to shift without the tongue-stud. All in all, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm bad! Hehehehehehehehe! I'm a lean, mean scaring machine!
We left Corwin's castle (after much bickering) and I got to lead from the middle; I was being the brains, apparently. I said we should go to a fast Shadow, because Lila wanted time to do something with spells. We ended up in a place full of tree-houses with living carpets. The carpets gave us some Gorblat-like things to eat (the spikes hurt!) and I discovered that if you jump on them after you take the spikes out, the shot goes everywhere! Personally I thought this was pretty cool, but apparently Gerard didn't because he threw me and Bardok out the window. I was okay, but Bardok obviously hasn't got the hang of flying yet ... or Trumps come to that - his aren't nearly as strong as my dad's cards.
Come to think of it, lots of things outside my Shadow hurt a lot more and a lot longer ...
We got to Corwin's Chaos and there were all these little guys with spears in the way - zillions of 'em. I wasn't too sure about them at all, but when Ericol and Gerard went in and started fighting, I thought it would be okay. It appears that those two are either a lot braver, tougher or stupider than me. By the time we'd all got to the other side I was hurt real bad!
They wanted the building to fall into the big hole. I was all for going home and lying down for a bit and I figured the best way to get home was to sink the building quickly, so I offered to eat out the supports a bit.
Lila gave me a lift across and before long we were in front of a big door. Jules went misty and went up to it and then fell over. Amanfist whittled at it with his sword and I gave it a kick which made it fall open. I had to duck pretty quick, because there was this big (and rather excellent) ball of lava on the other side. This guy was in there in front of some shop lights or something. He started chucking lightning things about so I hid behind Mandor while he and the others chucked things back.
There was a big bang and everyone fell over - luckily Mandor was in his ace and groovy monster form and I didn't get landed on. The bad guy seemed to be distracted, so I leapt on him - I was kinda hoping we could get it over with. This guy was really tough, he slashed me with his claws and blasted me with lightning. I let the others carve him up after that, having lost interest in everything that wasn't part of me.
By the time they got rid of him; me, Jules, Lila and Amanfist were lying around groaning. Mandor asked me if I wanted healing (silly question) and did something that Jules later told me was something to do with shapeshifting. I felt a lot better after that! Some of them didn't want to feel better and I got the impression that they were afraid Mandor would do something nasty to them. I suppose he could have done - but I didn't think of it and as far as I know he didn't anyway. Actually, he hasn't done anything unpleasant since The Village - so I guess it was down to the knocking thing after all. Either that or he's trying to Snortch me into a false sense of security ...
That reminds me! I talked to Mandor and Corwin about the rules thing. They didn't agree entirely, but from what I've heard and seen so far, everybody makes up their own version and the more monster you are the more others have to follow your rules. Also, the people who everyone says are in charge, aren't always ... It's all a bit confusing, but I know a whole heap more than I did, that's for sure. So far the most monsterous ones are Benedict and Mandor - Mandor more so, actually, but he did say that if Benedict made a rule it was a good idea to follow it.
Well, I went back to chaos to see about the trashcan, and Mandor, Dara and Merlin were there too. No-one else seemed to be. I went to Suhey Ways to look for him but just ended up wandering around lost for a coupla hours. When I finally got back to House Sawall, they were sitting around wondering what to do and where everyone had gone. I said I'd go see how the others were doing.
When I got to Amber there was no-one about there at all - not even the people from Corwin's place! I only had a Trump of Merlin ('cos he was the only one who would give me one) so I called him and told him. He said I shouldn't tell Mandor because Mandor might decide to move in. Actually, from what I've read, he probably had a point - maybe I should be more careful what I say between the two factions? I'll bear it in mind.
Anyway, we sat there and monitored the Trumps until some of them went cold. I was told that everyone was coming back, so I went back to Chaos and passed the news on - indicating rather strongly that had I possesed a Trump of Mandor he would have found out a lot sooner. It worked! He gave me his Trump! A point to me! Hehehehehehehehe!
Later Fiona gave me a tape which I ate. I got another one later and was told how to use it properly. Turns out all the missing ones had been turned into kids by dad and Suhey and hidden - looked pretty funny. Mandor thought so too, then goofed and said Suhey's name, which was funnier.
I've been spending time with Caine while he teaches me to shapeshift. Two really weird guys in yellow turned up at one point, but they didn't make a whole lot of sense. They vanished when I touched them. Caine said they might be ghosts, but that's silly. Everybody knows that they don't exist, Not even remotely. Uh-uh.
Anyway, it occurs to me that so far I've gotten quite a lot out of my nephews, neices and whatevers - including a party (true it wasn't really my sort of party, but hey) and I've even got two trashcans I can sleep in whenever I want. I probably ought to do something for them at this point, I have missed a lot of birthdays ...
(Player stuff from here on in)
Okay, with this in mind, Ickus will work on finding something for each of his relatives that he thinks they'll like. This is what they'll be getting, probably via Trump or in person - can I scrape it all together by next session?
Mandor - Easy! A pinball! (hey - they look the same)
Random - A chair (visually similar to the one Ickus ate)
Benedict - A bottle of Skankum (culture trade for the Saki)
Caine - A bottle of water (*shrug* he seems to like it)
Vialle - I hate to say it -and it may mean certain death from Random-
but he'd give her some working eyeballs (probably swiped from
some unsuspecting monster in a Shadow near his... yipe! (hey, if
your feeling generous, maybe Psy contact could actually let her
see out of 'em - course she'd have to hold them up like Krumm ...
snort!
Flora - Well she didn't like the nose, but he does know more about her now
from the books - how about something cute and fluffy *shudder*
like a kitten? (he'll be wearing rubber gloves to pass it over)
Fiona - Well, he'll be sure to pass on Mandor's comments/regards and,
um, a watercolour set?
Llewella - One of those wind-up frogs you put in the bath
Corwin - A jewel on a chain that looks like the JOJ (hooked up to a nine
volt battery so it glows) - he seems to want one so badly ...
Bleys - Alcohol of any description.
Julian - A copy of the Monster Manual (the pages hum and glow red) -
he's pretty close to scaring
Gerard - Waterwings (so he doesn't drown if he falls off the ship)
Dara - A fencing mask (he'll try not to nibble this one)
Martin - Tricky, tricky, tricky ... how about a Nintendo Gameboy?
Merlin - Hmm ... Presumably Ickus has a trump of himself in his deck - he'll offer it to Merlin, since Merlin was so free and easy with his.
Jules - How about a russian doll (the sort that go inside each
other - hey, that's deeper than I thought!)
Lila - A Gorblat - she seems fond of them all of a sudden ...
Ericol - Some armour polish
Bardok - A Thari/horse-horse/Thari dictionary so they can natter on rides
Vogel - A bit of a mystery to Ickus - he'll try him with a, um, errr, an
inner tube?! He's hardly seen this guy!
All this stuff will, of course, be given with the best of intentions and a huge grin ...
Every day I learn more and more - and some of the things I learnt I don't like at all. Better to know, I suppose.
I had a long talk with Ericol, who seemed most concerned for my personal safety. I told him that at the moment I haven't decided to trust anyone and I couldn't make him understand why. He says he trusts Gerard and Benedict and gave his reasons, but I thought that the main point of his concern was to cajole/threaten/bribe me into making a firm commitment to Amber. I told him I wouldn't be rushed, but he didn't seem to understand that either 'cos he kept on. One of his more interesting statements was "I'd hate to have to kill you".
Indeed.
Well, I was thinking the conversation over and doing the stuff that Caine has been teaching me. When I went back to Amber to grab some grub, I heard a whole lot of gunfire - even I knew that couldn't be right.
I tried Trumping some of the Amber people, but no-one was answering. Remembering what Merlin had said about telling Mandor this sort of thing, I called Merlin and pulled him through. It turns out a bunch of people with Corwin's guns had broken in and shot the place up. Random was hurt (pretty bad apparently) and the Jewel of Judgement had been stolen. Gerard came through and broke Corwin's present when I offered it as a stand-in. I called Benedict and told him that I thought Corwin had probably done it. It was the most likely thing. Benedict said he was going to kill him and knocked Merlin out. Everyone was mad and quite a lot of them with me - still not sure what I did wrong there, even Jules thought it was Corwin.
We went to Corwin's place and Benedict made me, Jules and Vogel go to see if he was in. I didn't want Benedict to kill Corwin, but he was awful mad and options seemed limited. Corwin denied everything and gave himself up. He gave me his sword and we took him back and he was locked up like Rinnaldo had been. I asked Benedict why he was so mad with me and he said he wasn't really, just annoyed generally and I hadn't been any help at all.
I was a bit confused and ever so slightly upset by all this, so I figured we'd all be better off if I wasn't around for a while. I needed time to think anyway, so I went to Chaos to see what sort of mood Mandor was in,
After getting slightly sidetracked by a pub, I finally made it back to House Sawall. He was in a black room, dressed in black, doing a black jigsaw puzzle on a black table and eating black sausages in a black chair ... well, you get the idea. He seemed happy enough though and we spent a bit of time chatting about the possibilities of turning off Powers. It's an interesting idea, but I'd like to
know a lot more about them before messing with them. Mandor agreed to show me the Logrus. We went to Suhey Ways and everything in there had been messed up. Bits of it don't seem to make an awful lot of sense - it's a strange place, but then so is most of Chaos as far as I can tell.
When we got to the room with the Academy chair we found Ekall. He said that people from House Sawall had come in and killed some of Suhey's demons and taken him away. Mandor didn't seem to know anything about it, but said he'd check. He also said that if they could get Suhey, they could probably get my dad too. I haven't seen dad for ages, I really hope The Duke didn't get him.
We went back to House Sawall and I paced about a bit while Mandor went to talk to his boss. Those two dudes showed up again and gave me a pretty good idea of where they came from. Mandor came back and said that The Duke was in charge of the house, which surprised me a bit, because I'd been under the impression that it was him. He also said that The Duke was "a bit scary", which turns out to be the biggest understatement I've ever, ever heard. The Duke's the scariest thing there ever was and if I never see him again it'll be too soon. What if I'd run into him the first time I came to House Sawall?! Or the time I demanded to see the guy in charge?! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! No wonder Dara's always so cranky.
When I asked The Duke about dad he said he wasn't there - which could have meant he wasn't in the room for all I know. I'm really no wiser on that front than I was, but I do know that I have absolutely no plans to upset The Duke at any time.
Someone from Amber called me and asked me if I wanted to go on an adventure, but I told them I'd just been on one and had things to do. Interesting that they could call me in the house though. I went to give Mandor back his pinball which he'd given me for while I was talking to The Duke (moral support?!) and since neither of us had any ideas about Dad and Suhey, we decided to chase up this thing with those two dudes that keep cropping up.
I'd already told Mandor that I thought they were from Corwin's Chaos and he thought that if that was the case we ought to get everyone who had gone there back together again. I went to Amber to clear the way while he got Merlin and Dara.
The only ones I could find were Lila, Vogel and Gerard. Corwin was in the cells and the rest of them were on the adventure I've mentioned. On Benedict's suggestion we met up in a pub in the city so that Mandor wouldn't guess the problems in the castle. I feel a bit like one of those super-heros in the comic books ... double identity and all that. It can't last - I don't wear glasses.
After a while the others arrived and it wasn't long before it became evident that Jules and Ericol had abandoned Bardok in the place they had been - without knowing whether he could get back or not. We probably wouldn't have found out at all, if Ericol had not lied and Amanfist had not spoken up. I was angry with Jules, but even more so with Ericol. Jules hadn't spent half an hour lecturing me on honour and standing by people and how Caine and Mandor were totally untrustworthy and wouldn't help me if I was in trouble (possibly correct, but look who's talking). As it happens, Bardok managed to make his own way back relatively unscathed. I wasn't allowed to hit Ericol (Gerard did that), but I whopped Jules a good one.
We went back to the place they had been and the Jewel was recovered. As far as I can make out from what was said, it was a Pattern Ghost from Corwin's place that stole the Jewel and attacked Random (who's getting better by all accounts). It seems that the Pattern in Corwin's place is trying to fix itself - though whether that has anything to do with us tipping those lights into the Abyss is uncomfirmed. I voiced my own opinion that the whole thing should be dismantled (it seems a bit like a cowboy extension on the universe, if you see what I mean). However, the only people that are anywhere near knowledgable enough to judge are dad and Suhey - neither of which are available for comment. Doing nothing could be dangerous, but doing anything could be as well. Tricky.
Mandor said he'd work on getting Suhey out - rather him than me if it means talking to The Duke. I spent some time showing Mandor around the Academy actually. He says it's a bit like Chaos, but he doesn't think much of the food - hey, at least he ate it.
Ericol came to have another chat with me - a lo-ong one this time. I heard him out, I figured it would be interesting if nothing else. He started off trying to explain why he'd left Bardok behind and when I said that I wasn't impressed with him at all so far, he said I obviously wasn't listening and it was a waste of time talking to me. I said if I wasn't listening I'd have punched his lights out already. For a while the conversation didn't go too badly, although he still doesn't understand a lot of what I said. Oh yeah, he also said "I'd hate to have to fight you" - is that better than what he said before, or worse? I asked him if he was afraid of anyone and he said no ... I'd like to hear him say that standing in front of The Duke. He talks as though a war between Chaos and Amber were imminent. Maybe I should quiz Merlin on that one?
I asked Ericol what he thought of the others and it boils down to this; Ericol likes and trusts Benedict (because he saved his life), Gerard
(because he's his father) and me (for no explained reason at all - yeah, right). He doesn't appear to actually like anyone else that much apart from
Lady Morganth and he actively dislikes Caine and Mandor and Chaos - despite the fact that he knows absolutely nothing about the latter two. I queried
him on this and asked if he'd go to Chaos with me to find out a little more about it. He refused point blank until I said that it would be one way to gain my trust (I lied), at which point he instantly agreed to go. Hmm ... I think it might be worth taking him there just so that I can find out more about him - know your potential enemy and all that. I'm more comfortable there anyway and I know he won't be, so I'll have the advantage mentally at any rate. I asked Mandor what he thought, he's good at the game and seems a lot more honest about the whole dishonest business than anyone else. He's agreed to help me so long as I get Fiona to pay him a visit. I can probably think of something ...
Conversationally, Ericol really blew it on two points. Firstly he went into a long and boring explaination of why he hates Bardok; then he started on about these "rumours" Gerard mentioned and when I said we weren't supposed to talk about that, Ericol said Gerard only meant when he was in earshot - and I don't think that's what he meant at all.
I'm still a bit unsure of myself on a lot of things and there's still an awful lot to learn, I'm sure. So far I know this;
Chaos is more comfortable than Amber and the people there are a lot more like what I'm used to - but I really don't like The Duke. Ericol is definitely not to be trusted - he says one thing and does the opposite - and not in a pleasant way. Never give blind people eyeballs. Never flash around reproduction Jewel's of Judgement.
The things I don't know are a lot more complex - Mandor for instance. Weird guy, but I kinda like him. Then there's Chaos, so much I haven't seen yet! Actually I might have an interesting proposition for the bartender I met earlier ... I'll think about that one. I think I'd like to talk more to Merlin as well - I get the impression he's as in the middle as I am. If he isn't, I'd like to hear his reasoning.
There's still a couple of things in Amber I haven't seen yet. There's Tir-na-nog'th and Rebma - though I'll need a suit before I go down there. I've heard of a cave where dad's supposed to live too and I really want to see that.
I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that the one thing I need most of all is a new set of social graces to accomodate my relatives. Flora's probably a good place to start there.
Hmm, I'm beginning to think that my ignorance in some areas actually makes me as astonishingly dangerous as some people think I am. I'm not entirely sure how, but in my brief doings as a member of The Family, I've managed to radically alter the political landscape.
Well, The Duke (who's actually Swayville, I've discovered) set up these Trump Traps for everyone. I was pretty sure it was him and that led me to think that perhaps he did have my dad as well. Luckily I was trapped with Benedict, who's good company to have if you're in trouble. After a while we managed to get everyone together who was trapped and we had to sort of travel between the traps to find the way out. It was quite an interesting experience and it told me an awful lot about the people I'm related to.
For a start, Benedict's very practical and can be pretty relentless when he sets his mind to something, he never let up once till we were out.
Ericol failed again to overly impress me - He's not much for saying thank you either ...
Bardok isn't much of a diplomat. I think maybe he's a bit impulsive (not that I'm completely innocent of that, you understand but it's not me I'm evaluating - it's everyone else - so there). He's a nice kid though, I like him.
Mandor sent Ekall to help me - he didn't have to do that and I can't see how he would have gained from it. Maybe he's a lot more trustworthy than he'd like people to think? Actually, outside the Academy I think he's the best friend I've got.
Jules, Lila, Vogel and Gerard seem happy enough to sit back and let other people do stuff unless it all goes wrong. Who knows what their plans are though. Wait and see. People seem to have a habit of breaking out of expectations. Sometimes it's a nice surprise!
Okay, so we got out of the trap eventually. I had to give Random directions because he'd got caught in it too - but he got out alright.
After we'd been fixed up a bit (Ericol got acided pretty bad - that's what you get for tearing people's arms off without even saying hi) and took a couple of days out to recover and stuff, I took him to Chaos for dinner like I'd planned. He seemed a bit startled actually - maybe he thought I'd forgotten? Anyway, I told Mandor we was coming and he had it all set up. I'm not sure exactly what Ericol made of the whole deal, but he didn't seem particularly impressed with the magic food thing. Hey-ho, we can but try.
Well, we checked out the bar and did a bit of Sumo - which was suitably fun and gave me a chance to ask Mandor about dad. He didn't know any thing more though. I beat Mandor and Mandor beat Ericol. Doesn't mean that much though, who's to say either of them were going all out. After that Mandor introduced us to the Chaos version of Gorblats, which is a great laugh.
After we'd played that a bit, there was a huge crash outside and we went to see what it was. It turned out to be Benedict freeing Suhey and Dad! I was really pleased to see them but it didn't take much working out to see that it was going to cause a few social problems with the Courts. Mixed emotions, man.
Mandor told them they were under arrest, but it was pretty obvious that we were leaving. I said thanks and off we went. Dad took us somewhere safe and after a while everyone wandered off - Suhey went home and fortified apparently. I was talking to dad about the whole Amber/Chaos thing and that was when I found out that Swayville was The Duke. Dad says he's as old as he is and he wants everything to go back to the way it was before dad nicked the Serpent's eye and created Shadow. Dad says he did it because he didn't like things the way they were and he can't give the eye back because Swayville would just undo it all if he did. I'd like to know more about that chain of events, mind you. How did he steal the eye in the first place? Must be quite a tale all by itself. Maybe I should call Suhey and get his side?
Dad started getting pretty upset and at first I couldn't figure out why. He kept going on about how Obe was dead and how sorry he was - it wasn't until he said that Obe was short for Oberon that I understood. I'd never had the chance to meet my brother, so when dad asked if I'd like to I said yes. I wasn't sure what he had in mind.
We stopped in at Amber to borrow the Eye from Random and then went to the Primal Pattern. Dad raised a Pattern Ghost of Oberon (they're not real ghosts - it's a misleading name). At first Oberon seemed as upset as the rest of them with my appearance, but he got over it pretty quickly. He took the Eye off of Dad and said that he was the King and that all he needed was a bit of Amber blood and he could stay. I asked dad and he said it was up to me. Well, considering how upset he was that he was dead and considering that Benedict had gotten my dad back for me - not to mention the fact that it was my brother, I mean, it wasn't much of a choice.
Before I knew quite what was happening I'd 'donated' a pint and my brother was telling Random to get off the throne, so to speak. Um, nobody seemed that pleased to be honest and Ericol started chirping on about how I'd have to make a choice now, blah-de-blah, yada yada yada ... why's he so worried about where I stand?! Anyway, I decided that maybe a little non-Amber advice on the matter wouldn't go amiss and besides, I wanted to see what was happening in Chaos since Dad and Suhey got out. I figured The Duke would be mad as hell about it, but I was rather hoping I wasn't a significant factor in his annoyance.
Wrong.
Mandor seemed in a pretty good mood, apart from the fact that he'd knocked his jigsaw over. I asked him what I should do since I'd obviously ticked everyone off and he said blame someone else. Hmm. I'd have to dislike someone quite a lot to do that. Anyway we didn't get the chance to discuss it because one of The Duke's people came to get me. Maybe I shouldn't have used Mandor as an anchor point, 'cos he ended up having to come along too and it got him into a lot of trouble.
Turns out The Duke was more pissed because of me bringing back my brother than anything else. For some reason he took most of it out on Mandor and made him really old, which is, like, grossly unfair because he had nothing to do with it. He made it pretty clear that he was going to do even worse things to Mandor and told me to go, which I couldn't, obviously. I grabbed Mandor and legged it - to be honest I wasn't expecting to get out the door but I got us as far as the black room and barricaded the door. The Duke had blocked every escape route I could think of and since Mandor couldn't change shape anymore the pipes were out too. Stuck. Woo-hoo.
The Duke called me back to his throne room (I just sort of appeared there) and gave me a Trump of him to give to my brother. Then he sorta zapped me to the other side of the Abyss. I trumped back to Chaos and went to ask Suhey if he could get Mandor out of House Sawall (his Trump was warm). Suhey said it would take a couple of days - I wasn't majorly happy about that, you can get snortched a lot in two days, but it was the best he could do so I went back to Amber.
I found Oberon and gave him the card but told him that looking at it porbably wasn't a good idea (The Duke never said I had to make him look at it). He showed it to a guard and the guard sorta got diced and dissapeared. I Told Oberon that I had a friend in Chaos who could really do with a bit of help and he said he'd sort it, which he did in record time! Mandor's here in Amber now, which is fun, but I don't suppose he's any happier than I am about Chaos being off-limits. Probably less so - it was his home. The Academy's off-limits too ... bummer.
ANYway, Oberon said Swayville's name and said that I was on Amber's side (news to me, folks). Then he said we had to go somewhere. We went to a place that's like a jigsaw puzzle only you have to get the times right as well or something. There were two new relatives there, well, ones I'd never met anyway and Oberon said they were going to Scare The Duke. Well, a scare's a scare and it's what has to be done and it's the first proper assignment I've had since I arrived - so I went.
We all appeared in the throne room in Chaos and that's when I found out that the strip of carpet and the chair are the only things there that aren't Abyss! Yi!
Oberon and the kids made the black go away and I got to see the Serpent, which really does only have one eye. Swayville got scared good and said he'd leave everyone alone. I don't think I believe him at all actually, but I guess as long as we stay clear we'll be okay. That Serpent thing's really big. really, really big.
We went back to Amber and there was some sort of party thing for my brother. It was kinda fun messing with the seating orders and putting Mandor right next to Fiona kinda made up for not getting her to Chaos for dinner. I would have kept to it if it wasn't suicide to go back there. After dinner we all had to swear fealty to Oberon or get locked up in the cells. I guess that's a rule he made up on the spot. Ericol had his fingers crossed and he told me later that it was because of a promise he made to Morganth. Dunno if I believe that either - 'cos there's no real reason not to now, but he still won't. He said that Oberon had done something unpleasant to Morganth, but also that he liked him. I don't know about that guy at all - he's facing ten ways at once. Dara was at the party too - she didn't seem very happy. I'd like to know more about that too - well, I'd like to know more about everything actually - I'm naturally curious. Or should that be curious, naturally?
Well, I still felt kinda bad about wrecking Mandor's life so I got some black paint and did up one of the rooms in the castle. By the time it was dry, he'd gone off to some shadow of Fiona's and got plastered. I took along some of that Skankum/Saki mix and waited until he was completely out for the count and dropped him off in the black room with a blindfold on. I think the wake up call with the dustbin lids was what got him most though. He said I was evil.
He does this neat trick with his eyeballs in the dark - mine just kinda flash on and off uncontrollably. Have to spend more time with Caine I suppose. Caine was the only one who actually looked pleased to see his dad back actiually.
Talking of that, I think I sorta owe something to Benedict and Random. Benny got my dad out and though I thought he'd be pleased to have his back he isn't so I still owe him for that ... Random - well, he was really angry. I'm not sure what to do about that. I should talk to him anyways, I'm sorry I messed things up for him.
On the other hand, I'm not sorry I brought back my brother. I've thought about it a bit and I think it was the right thing to do. Dad was awful upset and Oberon seems like a nice enough guy - bit bossy, but that's big brothers I guess. He got Mandor out and sorted Swayville. Things could be an awful lot worse ... for a while there I thought they were going to be. Game-wise I think being the King's brother is a good place to be and since (for some reason) quite a lot of people seem to think I actually did all the bringing back instead of just donating the first pint - I think leaving them under that impression might be a good thing too.
PS:
Ericol said something weird today - he said that if I was going to take Mandor out in Shadow anywhere, I had better get permission. I kept telling Ericol that he wasn't a prisoner, but he said that if I didn't check first, he would. Now what's that all about? Me or Mandor? Since when do we have to check? Ericol said he'd changed his mind about Mandor a bit ... I don't believe him. I don't believe him at all. I think I want to stay away from that one - of all my nephews and nieces he makes me the most uneasy. It's getting kinda scary the way he watches over everything I do, Maybe I should tell Mandor to be careful too?
I also found out some Interesting and slightly worrying stuff. I was wondering about getting Mandor a job in Amber (he's a Snortch - I knew it!) and he said he was already onto it but a good word in a couple of places wouldn't hurt. With that in mind I went to find my bro, who was in the graveyard. I found out a lot of stuff, most importantly that in order to stick around he's gonna have to chuck a member of the family onto the Primal Pattern ... Yee.
Now I'm really kinda torn in two on this one. I don't think it's right to bump off members of the family, but I don't want to lose my brother either. Oh help! I guess ... I guess I'll just have to wait and see what he decides ... Maybe I should invite Ericol to see the Primal Pattern ...
I talked to Random too and remembered to tell him about dad raising Oberon so that he wouldn't blame the wrong people. His reaction was a bit, um, weird. He said it wasn't really Oberon - which it is, isn't it? Maybe I should talk to dad a bit more about this?
Random says he's in two minds about whether he wants to be King again or not - maybe he's even telling the truth. We played a game called Poker and now I owe him an awful lot of coins. I didn't tell him about the Pattern thing - something told me that might not go down too well.
Oh yeah, Mandor made mention of a file he's got on Vogel. He wasn't sure if he was gonna let me see it or not, but it got me thinking. Maybe he's got files on everyone? A bit like I've been trying to keep track of people in my diary maybe? He also turned me into a mushroom ... I told you he was weird. I'm kinda hoping he can hide me when the weddings roll around though. Hey, what am I worried about? I'm their Uncle, or great Uncle or whatever - criminy, I can skip out if I want to.
I've been talking to Bardok about this and that - well, about Oberon actually ... I know, I know, Mandor said to keep my gob shut - but Mandor isn't in any danger on this one, is he? I only wanted to warn Bardok not to go visiting any Patterns with my bro, not on his own anyway - but he got the whole thing out of me. I made him promise on the Unicorn and the Pattern and everything else I could think of that he wouldn't tell anyone else though - fingers crossed, eh?
Anyway, we've been discussing the problem and we come up with a few ideas. I checked with dad and it looks like the only ones that are gonna work are the nasty ones. So far we can either throw an existing member on; someone we didn't know about before; or a blob. Dad seemed real unhappy about the whole thing and said he might have to stop Oberon - ever get the feeling that you should have listened to advice from certain quarters? Luckily, I think dad was so involved with his expolding raspberrys that he forgot all about it. I hope. Oh, dad confirmed that gushing raw blood all over the Pattern was a bad thing like the books said - so that's out too.
I dunno what to do ... Mandor's off out in Shadow someplace - probably with Fiona. Oberon's not feeling talkative either. I've got nothing to do here but worry about what's gonna happen. If Oberon stays someone else has gotta go - but if he leaves, Swayville's bound to catch up with me and Mandor sooner or later. Provided Mandor doesn't think of a way to sell us out first. I wonder if he would? Hope not - I have enough trouble with my family as it is without having to pick sides like that. Besides, I'm not sure who I'd choose. *sigh*
I wish there was a way to sort out The Duke ... hey now, that's an idea and a half! Hehehehehe! I wonder if it'll work? It ought to distract him enough so that I can move around without having to watch my back the whole time. I don't think I can piss him off anymore than I already have anyway - it's not as if he's the kinda Gromble you can cut a deal with, is it?
(Player note: What Ickus has in mind translates roughly as this; an artifact that is Ubiquitous and Able to Speak which is only a total of 6 points! Ickus would probably use goblins while he was getting some for Suhey and would have them say only one thing - "Swayville" ... now would that tick him off, or what? (huge grin) Will you let me get away with that?)
Talked to Suhey a bit. He looks to be safe enough and seems willing to teach me about the Logrus - which would be neat. I told him I wanted to see it first and he didn't seem too happy about that. Dunno why ... I left him to think it over while I get him his goblins. He says I'll need to be able to shift first anyway. I like Suhey, I'm not sure why everyone's so worried about him. He tends to make slightly more sense than dad - mind you everyone's scared of dad too. Maybe it's just me ... I seem to like stuff they don't and vice versa. How come my direct relations are so different?! I must be some kinda throwback or something - I definitely feel like an alien here. Maybe when I'm good enough at changing to look like them it'll be better? Blerg. I wanna go back to Chaos.