A LIFE ON THE OCEAN WAVE

Hmm, my mood at present is a little peculiar. On the one hand I'm very happy, but there are niggling doubts and minor irritants floating about. What the hell; be happy Astus, things will go awry soon enough.

The first real good sign was Gerard at breakfast one morning <grin>. Talk about lovesick, he never even touched his porridge, just kinda mooshed it from one side of the bowl to the other. He decided to take a day off and left me in charge of the fleet, which was an ideal opportunity to prove my worth.

I ended up escorting a shipment of gold to one of the Golden Circle States. We got attacked by pirates on the way, which gave me two extra ships and 30 possible new crew members. We also got some sort of treasure map and there was a letter from Dworkin in the chest inviting me to a tea party. The rest of the journey was pretty uneventful and I managed to get the ships back in time for dinner, which has to be a bonus.

Dinnertimes for my family are starting to look a little strange ... studious even. Dark was working on something (probably for her Shadow) the kids were struggling with their homework; I was reviewing the reports for the fleet and Gerard was writing poetry, or trying to at any rate. I suggested that a bottle of wine and a clifftop view of the sea might be easier, but I'm not sure if he went for that or not. I told him about the pirates and he actually said "well done". I nearly had a heart attack. If this is the sort of effect that Rosemary is gonna have on him ...

There wasn't a lot needed doing the next day and I was practising the Kata', I think, when Dworkin called on me for his 'tea party'. He was in his, um, spherical death-star type thingy in the Abyss. The place I appeared was some kinda hallway with Pattern type lines running along it (I didn't tread on those). There was a weird sorta clock there, counting down to the Millennium, Dworkin said. The upshot of what was a very strange party, was that on the Millennium (two years off, Amber time) something 'bad' was going to happen. I had a fair idea what he was talking about and he confirmed my suspicions. We have two years to get ready for these beings, whatever they are. Dworkin told those childless members of our group that they should have children (in fast Shadows) to increase our numbers before the shit hits the fan. He showed us some alternate Ambers, some of which are more powerful than the ones here and stand between 'us' and 'them'.

Cassandra did not seem 'overjoyed' by Dworkin's instructions ... I pity Lorenzo sometimes, but he married her.

It would appear that Illya has a daughter. Illya, cheeky cow that she is, told us that it was none of our business and then proceeded to criticise the way I am raising Anna in the same breath. God, my cousins annoy me sometimes.

When we returned from Dworkin's place, I hunted down father and told him what had occurred. After much hassling from Kharmaine, I took her to a fast Shadow near the one where I learnt surgery, a year to a day just about. She was anxious to get procreating, apparently.

With procreation firmly in mind, I took Dark to the Shadow I had set up for her. We had such a good time there that I sort of lost track of time. After two days away, I was a little anxious to check out the rest of the fleet and make sure that everything was ticking over smoothly. When I brought the flagship back into port, I found the whole place deserted. No dockers, sailors, nothing at all. I thought something disastrous had happened in my absence and since I was in charge of the fleet, I was more than a little anxious as to my father's reaction. It turned out to be some sort of 'joke', set up by Lorenzo with his more advanced Pattern abilities. I realised after a short time that I had obviously put in somewhere that looked like Amber, but wasn't. Seeing Lorenzo killing himself laughing gave the rest of the game away rather.

I am still a little peeved over that whole affair. Not only did Lorenzo completely fail to understand my annoyance, he then Trumped Dark and asked her to Trump Cassandra for him (they've had a falling out by all accounts). He wanted Dark to cheer Cassandra up by telling her that he had made a fool of me! Lorenzo seems to have mistakenly gained the impression that I am a safe target for unprovoked humiliation. I have a sense of humour, lord knows, but if he continues to act as though I am some sort of court jester I'll have to enlighten him drastically. I have no interest in starting another round of petty bickering and I resent being put into a position where I might have to take action like this. How would Lorenzo have acted if I'd made him look like an idiot in front of the guards and Random when he was Captain, I wonder?

I believe I was working out my peevishness with a round of boxing when Lorenzo told me that there was a problem in Rebma. There was a meeting about it and it seems that the remnants of the Chaos army had taken over Rebma. Lorenzo, noting that I was still not in the best of moods, made some pathetic remark that I was getting my priorities mixed up. In front of Random no less. I really think I ought to stay clear of him for a while. I owe the man many debts, but he's really pushing it.

The attack on Rebma was interesting. Benedict, Phoenix and I used a Trump of the courtyard and made our way up to Moira's rooms to free her. That ought to improve relations there at any rate. Lorenzo took the Pattern room and Bleys led a force down the stairs, which served as a nice distraction for those of us in the courtyard. Phoenix took a nick, but apart from that, it wasn't too much trouble.

Flora's ball went a long way towards smoothing my ruffled feathers, particularly as Lorenzo wasn't about - but he has problems of his own now, I gather. Personally I do not believe that Cain is dead, but I'm sure Lorenzo suffered other losses. He spent a long time in Rebma at one point and provided he isn't going to continue to rattle my chains, I'll be nice.

Gerard finally got around to introducing me to Rosemary. She was a little nervous about all the formality, but seems like a right nice young woman. I am very pleased indeed with the way that's going. She even told me that Gerard was proud of me (another mini-coronary). I think we're going to get along just fine. My wife is wonderful, without her I may have dithered till doomsday about Operation Gerard.

There are a lot more children about these days (peers for Anna and Jasmine to fall out with?). It seems my cousins were very busy during my two day absence. They seem nice enough for the most part, from what I've seen of them. Phoenix's son has the same air of quiet caution about him as his father. Marcus three sprogs are, as yet, a bit of a mystery. Illya's child is very pretty (oddly so, she changed), and also quiet. Lorenzo's daughter is oriental and quite fast with her fists; his son seems to be having a little trouble swallowing the whole Amber concept. As I say, they seem nice enough. They haven't been around long enough for the family pastimes to get to them yet.

All in all it was a pleasant enough evening.

Benedict showed me a third Kata' and told me to put all three together. Interesting stuff ... I'll need to practise that lots so that I can put it into use. Gerard has given me my own ship (and got himself a new ship's cook <grin>) but more on that later.

Dark has proven her patience with me yet again. I often wonder why women bother with male Amberites, since my life, like as not, will involve an awful lot of time at sea from here on in and when I return smelling of tar, I know that she will be there for me. She is wonderful. What would I do without her?

This leads me to my niggling doubts. I care very much for my family, all being excellent people. As every Amberite knows, love plus family equals huge weakness. My children are straining at the bit to be off in Shadow and I wonder if it would be wise to let them out together (with a few wolves) for the occasional day trip just to temper their impatience. There are strengths to be gained from the closeness of my family. For instance, anyone who decided to take on one of my children would also have to bear in mind the consequences from the other sister, Dark, Gerard and myself. Not odds I'd care to go up against personally. I do feel, however, that given the huge amount of trust that seems to have been vested in me and with a mind to becoming a bit more of a mystery, power wise, I would do well to follow the example set by dad and Benedict. It is time, I think, to set myself aside from the horseplay and bickering and merely observe the goings on in the ranks of my peers and their children.

I'm not sure what's happened to me recently. I have so much to care for and so many expectations to live up to, I don't think I can afford to mess about anymore. Is this the putting aside of childish things? I'm not sure. See how it goes I suppose. A good way to get across a change inside is often to change the outside. With this in mind, I've tied the hair back and grown a moustache. A little Errol Flynnish, but I like it.

Onto the ship ... my ship. It's a bit of a clinker, but that can be put right. Despite it's currently dilapidated condition, I am immensely proud of it.

I've called her 'Dark Desires' in honour of my lovely wife. She's a three master type affair, badly in need of a crew. Since the forces in Amber are so depleted, I need to find an alternative source of manpower. It occurs to me to take the best that I can find from the fleets that sail the seas in Karamin. Once I explain things to them and get them to swear allegiance to Amber, they should make a fine crew. I found a stray young moggy foraging around the docks - one of many. I called her 'Spook' because she is so black and hard to see in the hold (except for those glowing eyeballs), and promoted her to ship's cat.

There's quite a lot of work to be done on her, but overall, it's a very fine feeling to see the White Boar fluttering under the Unicorn. I do believe I'm contented ... sigh

A miracle! I just got a Trump call from Lorenzo and he (very nearly) apologised! (gasp!) Well, thank goodness that's out of the way. It seems I got my point across after all.

He is, however, jumpy as hell. He's convinced Osric is out for his hide and perhaps he is right. Osric is a mystery I'd be quite keen to clear up as well. Perhaps I should ask Benedict about him sometime, as I gather he actually knew the bloke. Quite why this particular Uncle wants everyone dead is a bit of a mystery ... maybe he wants Amber for himself, but that seems like a rather stupid ambition to me.

Of course now I wish I had asked more about him at an earlier date. I knew I'd forget to ask something important.

Given the uncertainty of the situation, what with all this logrus kicking about, it might be an idea to continue monitoring the state of the cards and checking things out with Pattern. I'll do a Trump scry I think, (player comment: gold) to see if I can get anything more on Osric's immediate intentions.

WHOOP WHOOP BA-DING, AHAY?!

No, I haven't lost it, or at least, I don't think so. I don't have the 'razorblades in the brain' type feeling that I got the last two times I flipped my keg. Mixed emotions is all - I seem to get that a lot these days. Very happy, very anxious. Hmm ...

Alright, to business. What the hell was I doing? Oh yeah, the ship. Well, I had about half a crew scooped together and we were replacing some hull planks and tarring her up when Dworkin paid me a visit (right in the middle of a bit I'd just tarred). He said to be ready for a journey in two days, but didn't clarify further. I tried to hurry up the tarring a bit, because I wanted that done before I left.

Dark packed up a few things for me and at the appointed time I found myself waiting in the courtyard with Lorenzo, Kharmaine, Illya, Marcus and Phoenix. Trepidation doesn't quite describe it adequately.

Dworkin pulled us through a Trump to his death-star and put us in some kinda fairground car. He zapped us off on a really wild ride and when I came to, we were in a building, which turned out to be in Amber, 90 odd years hence.

{mental notation follows - not written down}

I made some excuse about having a quick gander around so that I could use my second deck. It's the first time I've really used them properly and it was well weird. The only cold Trump was Dark's, which was a surprise. The Trumps talked to me! (another surprise - maybe that's how they stop you getting through at bad times?) Trump told me that she was being blocked by a barrier that it couldn't get through and Trump expressed surprise itself at this. Turned out to be the Jewel. Trump seems to possess the ability to locate as well ... geez these things are useful.

{mental notation ends}

Under a hastily arranged plan, I went up to the Castle, being watched over by Lorenzo's Pattern. It was pathetically easy to get by the 'guards' and right into the main hall. The whole place had gone to hell.

As I suspected, Dark was there. She came down shortly after the dinner gong. She was so old and frail ... it broke my heart to see her like that. I sat down next to her and she recognised my scent. When I said, "It's me." she hugged me and fainted. I took her up to our room (neglected with a broken Cold Steel) and Trumped Lorenzo to bring the others through. I told Lorenzo that I wanted to be alone with Dark for a time and asked him to pass that on to the others (Kharmaine was the one I was thinking of, a justified sentiment).

When Dark awoke she really wasn't up to much in the way of questions. I gathered that everyone else had died, anyway and that some beings with god-like arrogance had destroyed us. Kharmaine Trumped me to tell me that my children were dead ... I resisted the urge to throttle her. Dark cried a lot, she'd been alone and grieving for eighty odd years. I felt like crap about that. It hurts just to think about it.

I took her down to dinner and tried to answer the most obvious questions of the others. Kharmaine annoyed me again by questioning Dark directly and then calling her a bitch when she got angry. I had to send Kharmaine away, my temper descends into violence with bleak regularity.

That night I promised Dark that I would not leave her to die alone. After she had fallen asleep I went in search of some fast, painless poison. I could not take her back and she was so old ... I thought it kinder to ease her to death before I had to leave. I'm ashamed of myself for even considering it, but I could not bear to see her in pain of any kind. I examined the Jewel of Judgement that night also, but I have no talent for the thing and resolved to ask Phoenix to take a closer look at it - Lorenzo's keen interest in it made me very nervous and I didn't want him touching it if he didn't have to. All Phoenix got out of it was a plaintive cry for help from the Pattern itself, talking in the voices of those that had attuned to it.

The morning put paid to my ideas of an ancient Dark going peacefully to her rest. By my very presence I had restored some of her former vitality and that put me in a horrible quandary. At breakfast, Dark gave us what she knew of the events that had been our downfall. These beings had turned us against each other very effectively. The Unicorn and the Serpent had been set against each other as well, with disastrous results. First they turned the children against us then apparently Lorenzo was the first to die, taking with him Benedict, Martin and Bleys of course. He was investigating an anomaly in the Pattern (a result of the other Patterns being stolen at a guess). I had my heart ripped out whilst on board ship, effectively ending Gerard's life - I wonder how I broke Steel? ... putting up a fight with any luck. Everyone died ... Oberon took a couple with him in a flash of light. Phoenix just ceased to be. Random copped it in a battle.

I was desperate not to fluff our mission, it being so important. The trouble is, I wasn't sure exactly what our mission was. The whole place was so unstable I was loath to do anything that might hurry it's descent into oblivion. The Unicorn was in a very bad way, with Pattern leaking out from her. Physically she should have been okay, what ailed her was deeper than I could cure. Lorenzo wanted to use the Jewel to cure it, but I wasn't sure if that was his only motive and it seemed pointless until we knew where we stood as time was not a problem at that point.

At some time (I really cannot remember the precise order of things) Marcus Trumped me. He was in Dworkin's death-star and he asked me to come through with an edge of urgency in his voice. Telling me to keep my mouth shut about the Trump he possessed of the death-star, he asked me to take a look at alternate Ambers, saying that his warfare wasn't good enough to decipher what was going on. I looked across the rapidly dwindling Ambers until I had a rough idea of what these beings had for tactics. Then I asked Marcus to fetch me a camera while I focused in on one of "them". The thing was watching a battle between Amberites with detached amusement, looking at what looked like a watch. Then it got out what looked like a cellular phone and talked into it. I was hassling Marcus for the camera when the thing looked straight at me from out of the monitor. It was obvious I had been seen and noted, the power of these things is terrifying. Now I know what had him so worried.

Well, I stopped looking at that place pretty damn quick. Marcus and I were absolutely bricking it, but I forced myself to calm down long enough to make a reasoned response. I determined the nature of the camera and took Trump photos of major Amberites which can be used to analyse the tactical situation as well as their possible use as Trumps. Then the death-star started to shake and we got the hell out of there.

I was trying so hard not to fuck up and I managed to send a flare up for those bastard things to see. I was born an instrument of doom, obviously.

Hmm, well, we were under time pressure after that. It was vital that we got a firm grasp on all information available before They arrived to kick our butts. Illya, Marcus and Kharmaine went off to the Courts to quiz daemons, Phoenix went to the fairground car to act as a quick out and Dark, Lorenzo and I went to see if we could re-attatch the Unicorn to her horn.

We ended up letting Lorenzo use the Jewel and the Pattern to bond the two together - he confirmed my misgivings by arguing a case for taking the Jewel back with us whilst firmly keeping hold of it. I'm glad he didn't press the point too far, that would have got ugly real quick.

Dark took me aside for a quiet talk. I was at the point where I wasn't prepared to leave her behind, but couldn't think of a satisfactory way of dealing with her when I got home. She told me that my duty was to my wife, not some future Dark who was technically not married to me anymore (till death do us part). After all I have put her through, even after eighty or so years of misery, she was still as good, kind and noble as I have ever know her. She was trying the whole time to make me feel better about things, even pointing out that one of my main talents was running myself down. Heh ... there's no answer to that one, is there?

I cannot think what I have done to deserve her.

Dark decided that she wanted to take the chance on attuning herself to the Jewel. I donated four pints of my blood and Lorenzo led her through the Pattern in the Jewel. The change in her was amazing.

In the course of events, all three of us had to try contacting the Unicorn's mind to stop her from attacking the Serpent again. Whoa! Big mistake on my part. We ended up persuading the Unicorn that it was unwise and we found out the title of these beings (it escapes me for the moment) and also, most usefully, it gave us a definite out from the ghastly turn of history that we were witnessing. Sadly, it also allowed Lorenzo, Dark and I to share each others memories. I mean, completely, man. I tried to back out and shut myself off, but no dice. Shit.

He is gonna be so pissed with me ... I didn't keep the secret very long did I? What a let down. I'm not looking forward to explaining myself on that one. Damn, damn, damn, damn.

Lorenzo and I are going to have to sit down sometime, I think and work out how we're going to deal with knowledge we should never have acquired. It's more than slightly embarrassing for both of us. Trust will have to reach a new height. Note: Avoid Cassandra like the plague until your sure it's worn off a little.

With our mission effectively complete (I hope), it was safe enough to relax a little and just be ready to leg it if we had to. I was worried because Dark now knew that I had been seriously considering poisoning her. She even forgave me that. I can't stand it.

We made love that last night. I hope I left her more than fond memories ... well, to tell the truth, I hope that version of her never comes to pass and I mean that in the kindest fashion. Leaving was hard, but necessary. I left her Cold Steel and took the broken one back to mend ... I left everything else behind that belonged there, better to leave things in their place on the whole, I feel. I will never forget what I learned of her on that journey.

We returned to our own time shortly before we left. I went home as quickly as I could to tell Gerard the worst. I prefer to get unpleasantness out of the way as fast as possible these days, I hate living in dread.

Dad took it pretty well, considering. He agreed to do the explaining on my behalf, provided that I was there when he did it. Egad. I hope we do that soon, I'm not sure how long I can stand thinking about it. Mind you, as soon as I'm there I'm gonna wish I'd put it off. Bloody hell. Dad seems to think the pluses will outweigh the minuses. I hope he's right. It's a real bugger. I'm so disappointed with myself and if I feel that way ... hey-ho.

On a vastly more pleasant note, Gerard had some great news for me. He's gonna marry Rosemary and I'm the best man! Wahay! This also leaves me in charge of the stag night (cackle) Time to conference with a few people I think. Tell you what though, those anti-alcohol pills have gotta go ... hmm ... get Benedict to switch 'em for something harmless? I wonder if he'll go for that? It's great news, anyway. I'm intensely happy for the old bear. He said he'd try and get Dark in as maiden of honour, which leaves her with the hen night, I assume.

Another wildly good piece of news, though it is yet to be certain, is that Dark may be pregnant. *bounce bounce bounce bounce!*

Dark Desires is complete and christened and everything. She has a fine figurehead and is generally the best ship in the multiverse as far as I'm concerned (grin). I'm looking forward to putting her to use.

After talking to Random, Dark, Lorenzo and Phoenix, it looks very much as if Dark will be walking the Pattern at some point in the future. I have very mixed feelings about this. On the plus side of things, it will mean that she will never be the way I found her in the future; she will be truly independent; she will be so much safer against ordinary threats. On the down side, it is dangerous for her; her personality may change; she may suffer bad karma. If the last one seems applicable, I could always attempt a blessing or something ... I worry about it, but I have given her the options and the dangers and she is willing, eager even, to do it. Please, please let this go right.

So, I am happy, sad, hopeful and terrified all at the same time. It's not an easy combination to harbour in one head. The future is uncertain and needs worrying about, on the other hand, I can't help but be joyful at some of the recent events in my family. Jas and Anna are doing well at the moment too, I look forward to hearing how Benedict rates their efforts.

There are some really annoying loose ends kicking about. There's that thing with Martin. I do not understand that at all, but it is, I suppose, none of my damn business. Staying well out of it seems like a very good move.

Then there is Osric and Dara (bitch). They are still out there. It would not do to forget it.

Hmm, well I can clear up one dark and looming cloud real quick by getting Gerard to go with me to him and finding out what he has to say about recent events. Suspense is bad for the soul and if he has any wisdom to share on Them in this new light, I'd love to hear it.

And so it was later

As the Bear told his tale

That a face, at first just ghostly

Turned a whiter shade of pale ...

Heh, gallows humour.

INTERESTING TIMES

Mental notation, which is an inevitable event now really

Hmm, an interesting day. Things aren't quite as bad as I thought on the Oberon side of things anyway. Dad made me Trump him, backing out of his original statement, on the surface at least.

Oberon, apparently, knows what I'm thinking. He says he knows all the time, but it's possible that he only knows while the Trump contact is up. Of course if dad didn't clue him in to my error, I guess I'd have to come to the rather freaky conclusion that he can read minds to one degree or another - at a guess (a pretty wild guess at that) perhaps by touching the relevant Trump. He reckons he's been able to since he first drew my Trump, when I was five fer chrissake! Yee ...!

All in all, he's a seriously scary dude. Let's put it this way; Grandfather summons up images of cuddly old guys that smoke pipes and wear slippers ... I think I'll stick with Sir.

He gave me a book to give to Dark, but since it was unmarked I kinda assumed that he didn't want me browsing through it. It has something to do with her intended Pattern walk I presume. He mentioned Martin, but the information he gave me was somewhat cryptic ... something to do with a woman. I still can't figure it out, but since Oberon was speculating on interfering, maybe I'll find out sometime.

Interestingly enough, he said he didn't know where Osric was, or what he was doing. Chancing my arm here, but I think he was lying, in the first instance at any rate. Using Trump, I managed to get the name of the Shadow that Osric is in and I'm pretty sure that I could find it, though not get in, possibly. However, since Osric could kick my butt all the way to Chaos and back without breaking a sweat, I'm not sure what I should do with that information. I can't tell Random, because if Oberon was lying, it was for a reason. Unless I'm supposed to show initiative or something ... erg. Maybe I should just make tentative prods for information? Seems safe enough, I suppose ... I'll think about it. See what comes my way.

Of course it's always possible I'm being shamelessly manipulated, little better than a rat in a maze responding to carefully controlled stimuli. Heh, nasty suspicious mind. Never mind "Grandfather's alive!" just go straight onto the "What's he up to?" That's kinda depressing in a way. I could claim that the way Dara fucked us all over royally is an excuse for that kind of attitude, but it's not the same thing at all really. Dara's loyalties were always ambiguous. Cow.

I'm creating mental spaghetti. I could second guess my way to doomsday and get no further on. Besides, even if I were being yanked about, what the hell could I do about it? Naff all. Go with the flow and do as your told.

STARRY STARRY NIGHT

Benedict got back to us on the project he's been running with the kids. Jasmine and her team got 1st place and Anna and hers got 2nd. I'm very pleased with both of them, they did well. Though it looks as though the peer strife may have started and that wants watching. Jas was teamed up with Jarok and Alan and that looks as though its going to cause problems in itself. Anna doesn't seem to have endeared herself to Illya's daughter, or Lorenzo's. I told her that these things often go too far, but I'm not sure if she listened. *sigh*

Finndo (rather than Gynan) turned up rather unexpectedly. He beat the crud out of Benedict on the practise field. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. Seems like the only certain thing these days is that I'm going to be surprised on a regular basis.

I went down to the docks to find that dad had taken himself off without leaving me any orders at all. It wasn't that big a problem because the dockmaster seems to have a pretty good handle on what's supposed to be going on. It would be nice if he'd give me a few more pointers though, I'm pretty sure there's still lots to learn. My fault, I guess. There weren't any escorts needed so I spent a bit of time hunting pirates and trying to get the crew into decent working order.

While I was out there I came across Eric's ship. Bit unusual, I thought. I told dad, just in case I got mangled. Seems Eric just felt like coming back. Not sure if I'm gonna like him or not, but I was polite enough while I escorted him back. I don't think he appreciated the gesture though <grin>. Random gave him such a bollocking ... Eric's laying rather low at the moment. I sent up some alcohol because I thought he would probably need it and also, I would rather be on good terms with him than bad.

When I went to lunch I found that Dark had taken up Lorenzo's suggestion for doing Pattern training in a fast Shadow. I spent the next couple of days kicking my heels, doing paperwork and trying to get Angelic to sort herself out as far as the City Guard went. What a waste of time! She hasn't put any effort or thought into it at all and eventually I told her to forget it as far as I was concerned - I may relent if she asks very nicely. She's going to make a total hash of it if she doesn't buck up and I'm certainly not going to do all the work for her. Her and that sister of hers ... my lord.

Lorenzo called me to tell me that Dark wanted me to join her, as she was getting along a bit, pregnancy wise. I didn't know the Shadow was *that* fast. I went through with tuna and ice-cream as requested and shortly afterwards Flora came through so that she could deliver the baby when it arrived.

Naturally I was concerned that what happened to my mother might also happen to Dark. It took some doing (she kept sedating me!) but I finally managed to persuade Flora to let me up the tech level at the time of birth so that we could have all the advantages of the equipment. Bearing in mind what happened *last* time, Lorenzo leant me his pattern armour so that Dark couldn't cut me up during labour. By the time the baby was born I was a gibbering wreck, but it all went well and I have a son, Griffon (indelible grin). He has his mother's ears and is quite lovely. He'll probably make my life hell when he's older, but for the moment Anna and Jasmine are in charge of that. I trust Lorenzo is more satisfied this time, since he was actually there and cannot accuse me of leaving him out of it. I'm not sure why he expects so much of me, actually. There are only two people around that I trust as near to 100% as I'm ever going to get. He isn't one of them, not even close - especially since the brainshare. Knows too damn much already.

Personally, I do not relish the idea of raising Griffon in a fast Shadow and using him as part of the defences against Them. I would far rather raise him in Amber as I was and find a way to hide him when the time comes. My experiences with Jas and Anna have convinced me that keeping children in the dark about their heritage is not as wise as I thought. I don't particularly want his first adult experiences of Amber to be so dangerous either. He will grow up soon enough, children and sunflowers grow with unprecedented speed.

After a little while, we went back to Amber to introduce the child to his relatives. Jasmine and Anna seem to like him, so no jealousy problems there as yet. Even Random twitched a smile, despite everything. I feel sorry for Martin, but since I don't know all the facts, I can't really say why it is that Random is behaving this way. I must admit that I wouldn't be too chuffed about it, but the cells are so unpleasant. Poor Martin, from what I've seen of the future he's in for a long stay, at least till the millennium. Still, I don't see that I can do more for him than I already have - and that wasn't much.

I went to the Grove a couple of times, chasing up an idea or two. The second time was late evening and I noticed that there were a darn sight more stars than there used to be. As far as I could tell they weren't different constellations lain over each other, they just looked like random stars appearing. There are more of them now and brighter. I don't know what this means ... and neither does anyone else which is more worrying.

I told random I'd keep an eye out during the night and rather than disturb Him before I was sure we had a problem I decided to take a trip to the dreaded Cloud City. Much as I loath the place, it has a purpose. Phoenix acted as my anchor.

It was interesting, but it doesn't do to take anything you find there as a fact. Curiously enough, time was passing rather rapidly while I was there. The Pattern was so bright I had to use my tabard as a shield and it was flaring to the ceiling. As far as I could tell, it was a post-millennium Amber and we still hadn't done all that well against Them. Most interestingly, there was a P Trump of Dark there, after she'd walked the Pattern. It was in Random's rooms, though it seems that Dark was queen again.

Going back to Arden, I stayed with Phoenix a little while and spent two hours waiting for a Trump contact with the card. I talked with the future Dark for a bit. She seemed in much better shape than before. She told me that we had sent the Unicorn to fetch her friends and never saw her again. She also told me that Griffon had stolen the Jewel and legged it to lord knows where. Hmm.

{Mental notation}

Now I actually had something to say, I went back to my cabin and Trumped Oberon. He was aboard ship and is apparently on his way here. Presumably he has other things to do along the way, or he'd just turn up.

I told him what I'd found out and that I intended to Trump the future Dark again to get a more detailed analysis of the tactics we had used. He told me to wait for him to arrive before I updated him on how that went. He also told me that there would be other Amberites arriving out of the blue, much as Finndo and Eric did. I asked how many by sea and he said two or three, which means that there's probably another one out there somewhere.

{mental notation ends}

The next morning I told Dark and my father that I had business elsewhere for three or four days and went out to sea to make the second call, which promised to take about 48 hours. What next time, two weeks?

I put in at an island to get the crew off the ship and to keep them entertained whilst I shut myself away for the duration. It was even more boring than that Japanese tea ceremony Benedict put me through. The story at the other end of this particular slot of time was much cheerier this time. I had managed to avoid having my heart yakked out (just for a change) and most of the others were alive - I don't hold out too much hope for some of the new arrivals though. Annoyingly enough, Dark didn't know too much about what we had done this time. She did tell me some interesting domestic situations though. By all accounts Jasmine married Jarok and in what was described as a jealous rage, Alan kidnapped them both and behaved most T-like. Griffon stole the Jewel and legged it *again* which is worrying. I certainly shan't be passing that info around if I can help it. Random wouldn't take it too well I shouldn't think and the last thing I want is people to be suspicious of my son before he can even walk.

I called the rather curious crew back aboard and told the Mate to wake me in four hours and start heading back. When he woke me, he told me that there was a ship off to port. I went up on deck and found a French ship, completely out of it's way. While I smartened up a bit I signalled my desire to come aboard, to which they were agreeable. As I suspected, one of the incoming Amberites was aboard, though he was a passenger not the Captain. Talk about screwing up Shadow minds.

He was Gary, a son of Benedict. I offered to give him passage to Amber and he agreed. I charted a route back for the French ship and took my rather unloquatious passenger home. I didn't come across any others on my way and Marcus Trumped me, enquiring after Gary, which saved me the bother of Trumping Benedict. Apparently Benedict's third son is coming via land, so someone else can look after that. None of these people seem inclined to Trump through to the courtyard, so perhaps they don't have Trumps (unlikely) ... either that or they prefer the lengthier route.

Talked to Lorenzo, who appears to be on the brink of diving into the Abyss in one of those tin can thingies. I asked him to wait a week or three, on the off chance that if it's a bad idea, He will tell him before he gets himself killed - not to mention Benedict, Bleys and Martin. Even if it's a good idea, I rather thought that it would be an even better idea to have someone who knows what they were doing involved. Lorenzo (thoughtful as ever in the face of my concern for his safety) put me under a lot of pressure to expand on that request and even when I made it quite clear why I couldn't, he kept on at me. Sheesh, I think he's trying to get me slaughtered.

When I returned to Amber, Dark informed me that, bar feeding times, I was in charge of the baby. Fair enough, I suppose. So here I am, watching over Griffon; mulling over a few rather bleak and Them oriented thoughts and waiting for Alan to come talk to me. It would be much better for all concerned if we could avoid that little piece of history occuring. At least this way, Alan gets a second chance, as it were. He seems nice enough now, but then so did Tangent ... helo-oo paranoia.

Either way, he should be made aware that he'll end his days badly if he acts the prat. Whether he chooses to tell Lorenzo any of this I'll leave entirely up to him. I'd rather not be responsible for Lorenzo distrusting his newly aqquired son - besides, he'd only start on at me about how I knew etc etc ad nausium. Maybe I can persuade Dark to go out to sea with me until the time's up ... nah, he'd only hassle me via Trump. Three and a half weeks of this, good lord. There's always a barrier, I could still be reached if it was urgent. Hmm ... sounds appealing. Yeah, what the heck. I don't need this aggravation.

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