Woe Is Me

Possibly one of my more appropriate headers. I certainly feel pretty woeful right now.

It is, as usual, largely down to lack of coherent thought on my part. However, this time I feel I had a little help. I was certainly teetering on the brink, but who did the pushing? Hmmm ... will it help to know? Maybe, in some ways. I can possibly stop them from doing it again. Even if this turns out in the best possible way, I have an awful lot of broken bridges to hammer back together when it's done. Let's face it, when Random advises you to jump into the Abyss, King / relative relations have taken a dive.

Okay, something to get off my chest before I tell the miserable tale of how I got where I am at present ... just in case I screw up one last, fateful time.

LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT

Someone's bound to find this diary and have a jolly good laugh if I do screw up and die horribly, so here's the bottom line on what I'd appreciate posthumously - and a few random thoughts, pun intended.

Random: you're a miserable old goat sometimes and you ought to appreciate loyalty when you've got it. (boy that felt good ... I must remember to burn this particular bit if I come back <grin>)

Gerard: You're a miserable old goat sometimes too, but I really appreciate everything you've done. That last chat we had was the best. I love ya, look after Dark and the kids.

Dark: You've got lousy taste in men, bear that in mind next time. I'm sorry, for absolutely everything. Everything I have is yours to keep or give away as you see fit. I love you too.

Jasmine and Anna: Learn from my mistakes. I love you three. (a joker to the last)

Okay, so if any particular bits of me make it back, stuff 'em in a hole and do your best to forget. Don't let one dead idiot ruin your lives. See ya sometime, maybe. Look after each other.

Right, well, that's my affairs tied up (I'd laugh bitterly, but I'd wake up Dark and the kids) So it's on with the sordid tale.

Well then, as I recall it, things went pretty much downhill just after I found out that "Tangent" had been tutoring Jasmine in the ways of Amberites. I was pretty pissed off, but in an effort to be a good father I decided to talk to Gerard first. He was his usual 'helpful' self and we ended up rowing about how he never really listens - note: Tangent is capable of screwing up everything even if I just mention his name.

Well, after that non-starter, I talked to Dark (I should do that more often) and reluctantly concurred that Gerard had been at least partially right. Having caved in (rather ungraciously) I decided to take Jasmine and Anna to Amber as soon as possible.

Jasmine became a bit of a worry after that, exhibiting remarkably T-like personality traits. So I guess that kept my mind pretty occupied, worrying about her and worrying that my paranoia had finally got completely out of control. Note: find drugs suitable for manic depressives that are effective in Amber and start taking them.

Okay, well what with Jasmine and Anna (whom Illya was trying to subvert) I was not exactly paying that much attention to Amber and her affairs. This was a mistake. When the voices started up in my head, I panicked rather. I've had cause to doubt my sanity, and it was the doubt that was really bothering me - more than the voices at any rate. I went to Random and asked him to make sure I was sane, or let me know the worst. He told me that I'd have to open myself up for an intense scrutiny for him to be able to do that. I let him on the theory that A) I'd rather know I was sane than be secretive and in doubt; and B) It could only improve my standing with Random, because I have very few ill-thoughts about the man and would obey any order that didn't involve causing harm to my immediate family or Amber.

It wasn't exactly a great experience and it's an uncomfortable feeling knowing that Random's been digging around in my most private thoughts - but the result was worth it. Sane, apparently. There's a turn up for the books.

The biggest down side of this was that when I told Random that the voices had warned me he was doing something iffy, he knew exactly what I would do if he didn't stop. Therefore, I was in the cells in short order. Hey-ho. The real bummer is, Random doesn't remember *any* of this, so now he doesn't even know that I'm a pretty safe bet, as far as relatives go. What a swizz. All the pain and no gain.

Things went bad rapidly after that. I can't quite remember what alerted me, but it must have been noisy, because Karl and I heard it in the cells. Luckily the WolfPack makes a great door-opener <grin> Note: Random won't remember *that* either, a plus by Jove!

After that it was a mad dash into shadow with Lorenzo, Cassandra, my family and ... and ... Karl and suchlike. Maybe I should have picked up Gerard on the way out, but he'd have probably slowed us down by asking lotsa questions and possibly wringing my neck. We went to Fiona's after picking up Phoenix. She trumped Random at my suggestion (way to go, Astus) and instantly forgot who we were. I seem to recall we had Bleys with us at the time. Anyway, we shoo'd off pretty quick and used a Dworkin trump to hide, on the idea that none of us would have thought of such a shadow and were thusly safer. (me picking one would have been a disaster, thinking about it. 'Random' would've known for sure.

Well, talking of Random, we decided to ambush him. Gee, bravery at its height. Well, Gerard was out by that time, seemingly interested only in my speedy demise and I wasn't prepared to tangle with him.

We didn't get very far, all we managed was to put Random and Vialle together and I got touched up by Cain, who I think just enjoyed making me uncomfortable. I appreciate the humour, but that's about it. Pax, Cain, Pax. I'm too tired to fight anyone anymore. Perhaps we can resume hostilities at a later date?

So, after Karl had done some working out on paper (kinda) we decided to try another Amber, in order to get a jewel of judgement. I mean, let's face it, Random's scared of Oberon and that's good enough for me. I can't figure out if Dad is or not ... he appears merely cautious, but it's getting harder to tell with him. He's an unexpected source of duplicity.

I'm wandering ... alright, the other Amber. Well, with unusual good sense we made it right in there. Oh yeah, we picked up some extra cousins on the way, Marcus, Benedict's son. I'll be his friend if it takes me forever <grin> too much at stake to fall out there. Two other bods, whos names escape me at this early hour. one of them is Brand's daughter ... ha ha, good luck there - I ain't gonna make any friendly overtures. The other will have to be dealt with cautiously until I find out who will be annoyed by what.

We left Cassandra making arrangements for the return trip. Eventually we left Bleys and the kids there too, because we had to enter Amber Mrk2. Gerard there was fortunately more like my Gerard than the one in Amber at that time. Confused? I sure was. Anyway, apart from the fact that this Gerard hadn't learnt that simple rule about hugs and Asti, it all worked out perfectly well. That Random co-operated and was, in fact, quite nice. He was how this Random used to be. Maybe we should have brought him back? I had a chat with their Gerard and he told me a lot of stuff that I shall remain grateful for as long as I breath. I just wish someone had told me earlier, or perhaps, I should have looked harder? Still, it's always hard to see what's right in front of you - in my experience anyway.

So then we recruited Dworkin - who proved invaluable and set off to re-inscribe the primal (ad infinitum) Pattern. We had a bit of bother with an Oberon, but Dworkin pretty much dealt with that. Random did the honours of inscribing.

There were some interesting people in that place ... I shall miss McHeath, I think. We could have got on famously. Completely untrustworthy of course, but a grand fighter with a sense of humour. Talking of which, hasn't Benedict changed! He's a positive delight to talk to, especially in these circumstances. He's been very good for me, mentally. I daresay he'll reel in the favour at some point, but I'm not sorry I owe him. I can think of worse creditors.

We came back here, mission successful, not that Random remembers any of it - probably thinks we were all high or summat. Ah well. There's always the doubles to back up our story.

I talked with dad and he confirmed a lot of what the other Gerard said. He says he has something for me that Oberon gave to him. In time, perhaps. If I have time. I hope so. Whatever Random may think of me, what Gerard thinks is more important - on a morale basis anyway.

Well, an alternative Eric was the first to arrive. By ship even ... he's denser than I'd have thought. Of course Gerard took out most of the ships, interesting method ... hmmm. I got to fight Eric ... it was an education, but I'm glad I had the Pack with me. I also owe thanks to the alternate T. Not happy about that bit. Recognition from Random was approximately ziltch. Well, not quite, he told me to stop bothering him. Hmpf. Maybe this whole thing's a test of our loyalty? ... now that is paranoid.

ANYway ... a large invasion force arrived, complete with Astus-throttling Gerard, Bleys, Brand, and Benedict. What a charming combo they made. Told Random. Got moaned at.

I did my best under the circumstances. I sought advice from all quarters (pride comes before a fall) and executed my duty as best as I'm able. I was very glad to see Benedict though, even if he wasn't that pleased to see me at the time. He took control with his usual flair and when the army arrived I dared to be hopeful.

When Brand arrived and stabbed Dad, I really didn't know what to do. I thought about trying to kill the bastard there and then, but reasoned that if I was dead, Gerard might end up that way too. He told me I could bow down to him, so I stalled. Turned out to be a good move, because he left, saving me the trouble of having to tell him to bog off (a probably fatal statement).

I trumped Benedict, who had Brand in hand. I trumped Llewella and saw that Dad was looked after while I resumed my post. Not a lot of point trying to save his life if Amber fell. As it turned out Benedict was so good at his job that I wasn't needed. I went and watched over Brand to make sure he didn't get up again. Thought about killing him. Didn't. My temper's improved no end.

Looking after dad is a strain. I've always seen him as somewhat invincible, which he patently isn't. He nearly died this time. I hope I've done a good job of looking after him anyway. Being irritating enough to relieve the boredom and so on. I've been practising my skills. Push-ups, weapon training. Benedict has been in a remarkably good mood. Anyway, it's all academic, 'cos I blew it big time.

After Lorenzo's prophetic journey to cloud city (I hate that place ... Hate it) Things went down so fast you wouldn't believe. I'm not really sure I want to write it down ... it's not like I'm going to forget it or anything.

Anyway, when Corwin turned up with Merlin, I lost it. All the time I spent trying to do things better and get more respect, gone, out the window, I might as well have never bothered. It was the surprise ... I spoke downright stupidly. Gerard seemed reluctant to be any help at all. I suppose he had his reasons. Corwin, for some reason which remains a mystery, chose to leave me intact. I just wish I'd had the presence of mind not to tell him who did it. Mind you, he'd have probably wrung it out of me ... yes, thinking about it I don't see that I had that much choice, I'm a lousy liar and he'd have got it out of me or killed me trying. That's something to feel a bit better about anyway ...

Jasmine and Anna have walked the Pattern. Another load off my mind.

Random is very annoyed. Understandable, but he has a selective memory if you ask me. Still, I'm off to the Courts in a short time. I tried to make it there alone, but we've taught the guards too well. They'll probably snitch. I don't care. I'd be hard put to make things any worse for myself at this point.

I have time to write a quick (and not entirely honest) note to Dark, have some last words with Benedict and Lorenzo (it'd be good to have him along, if I am forced into having company) and get myself in order for the journey.

Don't screw up again, Astus. Don't screw up, don't screw up, don't screw up.

BLOODY HELL, I'M ALIVE!

Well, well - I live to tell the tale again <grin> though exactly how long this state of fragile peace will last is debatable ... rather down to Cain and Dara and like folks, I suspect.

At breakfast, Random had ordered a huge fry up for all those going to Chaos. I really wasn't hungry (terror does that to your appetite) but was eventually forced to down toast and jam - better than hurling up bacon and eggs at a later date. While "eating", a guard came to tell Marcus that there was a hammering sound coming from inside the Pattern room. I followed him down there and Random arrived to open the door.

To our collective surprise, McHeath was on the other side of the door, looking a bit hung-over if you ask me <grin>. He was apparently on some mission for the alternate Random. We all mooched on up to Random's rooms for a briefing and discussed disguises and orders.

Marcus went through first via Pattern and met our Chaos contact on the right side of the bridge. We were taken across to a House (I forget which - Lorenzo will know) and checking the Trump I found it to be cold. Our contact told me that this was a Trump of George, an inmate of House Fenris. I discussed tactics and after determining a good time to make him aware of my presence I told Phoenix that he was to be in charge of Operation Ice Queen and making sure the newbies came through the experience alive. He wasn't exactly wild about the idea, but eventually agreed when I allowed McHeath to join me as extra weaponry.

George seemed a little surprised when I trumped him - green hair or not it didn't take him long to get hostile. So much for talking to him. I was aware that I was no longer alone in the room and would have left McHeath and the two Chaosites outside the door to deal with them if Marcus hadn't burst into the room. I was forced to break contact and see that no-one lost any limbs, instead of pressing the attack on George. I wasn't too happy with that ...

After we collectively dispatched the three distractions George had sent us, I decided to make my way to House Fenris and await his presence there. On the way, Anna's voice cried out for me ... I don't know how she does that, perhaps I should tell Random about it? Hmm ... maybe I'll tell Gerard first, just in case. Then again, the horses mouth might be a good place to start ... hmm, Anna, Dark, Gerard, Random. That's a good order to do things in this case - the safest one.

After initial confusion I decided that it had been a call for help and acted accordingly. I trumped through to the courtyard and hammered on up to Anna - Note: try trumping Anna first next time, dimwit.

Anna told me that Dark had been dragged through a black hole, so I went to the Pattern, got the key and walked the blasted thing again. Being taken to Dark, I found myself in an box, apparently floating in the sky. Not finding any immediate resources to escape, I settled down to wait a bit. Oh yeah, the other Astus seems to have met an ill fate at the hands of her son, so there is such a thing as poetic justice after all.

While I was waiting, a black hole opened up and Jasmine's legs came through. I'm not sure if I could have used the hole to get back to Amber or not, but I was more concerned with keeping Jasmine there than anything else. Someone must have been pulling at the other end, because she disappeared back through and the black hole vanished. I was hoping this setback might make George come take a look at his prisoner to see what was going on, but as it turned out, Dark and I were 'rescued' by Suhey's Logrus tendrils out on the hunt.

It seems that Lorenzo had requested that Suhey find me and I ended up back in Chaos. I didn't stick around long, especially after Suhey remembered the warrant out on me.

Getting back, I found Anna and Jasmine in the infirmary with Gerard hollering for a spliff. At a guess I'd say he was doing the pulling on the other end of the black hole, 'cos he sure hadn't been doing his back any favours in my absence. Luckily, after giving Random the lowdown on the mission, Gerard was *finally* ordered off to a fast hi-tech shadow to heal while we made arrangements to return to the limbo plane where Phoenix and I found Karl and Jennifer.

G‚rard wasn't in too good a mood when I got back to him with the readied ship. He was healed up, but he seems to have some basic objection to taking short cuts of any sort. Weird old Bear, I'll have to ask him why that is when he's in a better mood with me. Maybe he just likes the Bear Necessities! (Woo-Hoo-Hoo!)

ANYway, we went on through to limbo-land. Jasmine appeared to be attacked on the way and when I made contact with her mind I found T/George in there. I attacked with psyche, only to discover that it was Jasmine I was attacking. I still feel incredibly guilty about that ... I scrambled her up pretty good before I realised. Poor kid's been through the mill ever since that business in cloud city.

I left Jasmine with the long-suffering Dark at the ship while we went of to find George. I suggested that if I went on ahead I might act as a reasonably effective Judas goat. It seemed to do the trick, because before too long I ran into what looked like T, but was obviously a figment as he didn't try to kill me on sight.

I talked to the figment a little and he appeared to be a nicified version of T, created with the help of the diary and a fair bit of imagination from what I could tell. That was when I went into derisive mode, in the hopes of taunting George out of the woodwork so we could capture him. Either that or talking some sense into him ... I felt kinda sorry for George, I'd be gutted if someone killed Gerard. I wouldn't be stupid enough to do it George's way though, if you want to torture someone to death slowly it's a bloody good idea to keep them in the dark about your plans until you got 'em chained up tight.

Well, rather predictably, George didn't take too kindly to me slagging off T and started dropping things on me. The elephants and pianos were easy enough to avoid, but the Titanic was a bit of a shock. I wonder if he got that from Shadow Earth? That'll confuse the archaeologists. I'm wandering again ... anyway, luckily for me, I've put in enough practise to cut a hole in a descending pleasure cruiser before it flattens me. Apart from a slightly sore foot, I escaped unscathed and continued my tirade. I suppose seeing me disappear under a White Star liner was a bit of a shock, but honestly, being anywhere near me at that time wasn't a good thing. First Marcus hacked his way through the hull of the ship (deadly damage there somewhere, probably the sword) Just in time to get zapped by a lightning bolt along with me (Invulnerability too by the looks of it - or an impressive endurance). Then Gerard picked up the ship (hey, I'm impressed) and used it to hit a home run on the incoming iceberg.

Well, I scarpered away from Gerard and Marcus before they got hit by any other Astus intended missiles and by this time Lorenzo was toying with the possibilities of using psyche against the figment. We joined forces on that one and Lo, found ourselves inside George's mind. They say revenge is an empty business and I think the inside of that guys head proved it.

It was kinda like a nursery, only a bit bare for my tastes. George was there and I made a last ditch attempt to talk him out of suicide. He wasn't dreadfully impressed and we ended up fighting. I was a bit surprised when both my sword and my right hand disappeared, mind you. What a bummer that would have been in reality.

He got iced by someone (Cassandra? I was too busy to notice) then we took him apart mentally and made sure he was out cold. When we got back to our bodies, Steel and my hand were there and intact, though I got the worst case of pins and needles ever. George turned out to be a thin film upon which we were standing ... I wonder if he hurt himself dropping all those pianos?

Well we got back to Amber and presented that rarest of things, a living prisoner, to Random. Of course Random almost instantly recommended that we take George apart bit by bit and chuck him in the Abyss, but you can't have everything, now can you?

Well, Jasmine recovered pretty much from my Psyche attack, thank heavens and just for a change I was left with some time on my hands. First off I sorted out the problem with Steel's Trump and had a Trump of T's Shadow made for Dark, she wants to sort it out for some reason. I don't actually understand that, but if it's what she wants to do ...

In order to pay off these debts to Fiona we ended up decorating her house and building a conservatory. It fell down a few times, but we got the hang of it eventually. Then it was back to Amber for a Get Gerard week before going out on the ship (I asked Random for a transfer - Captain of the Guard is getting crowded and I'd quite like to do a bit of seafaring)

Get Gerard week was very nearly as unsuccessful as all the previous attempts, but I did make one small victory over the whole event (a very small one, but hey) Under McHeath's suggestion, I smuggled four of the Pack into Gerard's pockets and invited him out to the practise field. Just when I thought Gerard would be getting ready to wind up the practise by whopping the heck out of me, I shouted "Change" and all these wolf heads popped out of his now bulging pockets. It was pretty funny to look at and when I shoulder barged dad he actually took a couple of steps back! Now there's a first!

Unfortunately the other attempts weren't nearly as successful. I tried the 'stand over a doorway and leap method' a few times. The first time he pushed me from behind (remember the window in future) then he fooled me into thinking he'd left his room and when I jumped down he bopped me on the nose and the third time he left the room by means other than the door.

Oh yeah, Blood got me a good one that first morning, Note: check meals for red marbles before relaxing.

I tried a neat idea of Trumping dad and asking him to come through while I stood in front of a pit. Unfortunately Blood was collaborating and all Gerard did was shove me backwards into another pit.

The spring loaded meringue was a total flop, but not quite a disaster on the scale of the bed-lurking plan that Benedict suggested, though it's only fair to say that even Benedict didn't look too hopeful about that one. I snuck into dad's room via the window (how long till he twigs that entrance?) and used a couple of boards to rest my weight on top of the bed canopy. It might have worked, only Gerard spotted me in the wardrobe mirror. I was somewhat unceremoniously locked in the wardrobe without Steel and when I started singing, top volume, he put the entire wardrobe on board ship and left me there. After a bit of fiddling about, I managed to poke the key out of the lock and used the light to trump.

Getting back to the bedroom and hiding under the bed, I waited till I thought he was asleep and leapt (without Steel, I must have a deathwish). Well, I ended up leaping an ale barrel and Gerard, who was on the top of the canopy, got me. While he was dragging me down the corridor for god knows what fate I tried wriggling out of my shirt and Trumping out. It sorta worked, insofar as Gerard and I ended up in the courtyard with me halfway out of my shirt. Dad recommended quite strongly that I fetch his wardrobe at that point.

In order to get my marbles back (the ones I'd smuggled into his pillow) I had to grovel a bit. I'm pretty sure he made the most of it and in fact most of the elders seemed pretty amused by the nights abysmal failure. Part of the grovelling including re-masting a ship and that's where I first noted Cain hovering about.

The cake was really a last ditch attempt (and a fine one, I might add) With help from Lorenzo and McHeath (who really just tagged along for the laugh) Lorenzo procured some really stonking hash and we got Mrs Mulligan to bake up our alcohol and hash cake. Gerard only ate a little bit, but we really got Bleys a good one with it. Random took a bit and wandered off cackling after we told him what was in it. Benedict took a bit but I wasn't silly enough to try him on ... oh, so tempting, but let's face it, eh?

Well I offered to get dad up to his room and there we ambushed him with the gremlins. After he threw the invisible shield at me and sat on it, I gave the parting shot of "gerrof you fat bastard!" and got trumped out. Lorenzo told me that dad, Bleys and Benedict were waiting around the corner and we decided that, all in all, it was time to grab the cake and run. I'm not sure how far Lorenzo got, but he was in the infirmary by the time I got there. McHeath got off scott free ... sneaky git.

What I learned during Get Gerard Week was that elders don't play fair and can't be trusted at all. But then I suppose I already knew that and this was just a graphic illustration.

By the end of the week it was time to go to sea. Dad made me fill in for a crewmember and I quickly discovered that Cain was on board masquerading as one of the crew. I assumed dad knew he was there, or I would have told him. Lorenzo was out having fun in shadow and Mount Rushmoore in one particular Shadow has an interesting new set of faces (snigger) I have a photo hidden very well in Averick. If Benedict ever finds it I think we're dead meat. Around about then I asked Lorenzo if he'd let me use his Little Help, which turned out to be a mini Dworkin.

All I did was ask him to swab the deck (a mind-numbing task at the best of times.) the trouble is it ended up kinda patchy and pink. Gerard made some remark about me and blue, so I retorted by mentioning his black moods. He got rid of Dworkin by saying that Benedict was in the pink or something and said to tell Benedict that I sent him. Arg!

By the end of that little mix up, I was green, Gerard was black and Benedict a fetching pink. I daresay it would have ended fairly peacefully there if Lorenzo hadn't taken a photo of Gerard in his black state and distributed it widely around the relatives. Between Cain and Lorenzo I got quite a few clouts off of dad ... I'm wondering how much of that was putting me in my place rather than anything else. I took the hint, more or less. Lorenzo is still on the run ... I think he needs his head examined, even I wouldn't have done what he did and I'm sure dad won't forget until he's extracted his revenge.

Lorenzo gave me some teeth that turned into skeletons. They were pretty cool, but they showed up my weakness in multi-combatant situations. Oh yeah, Dara Trumped as well - she ain't too happy with me over this Merlin thing, not surprisingly.

When Random left for the alternate Amber, me and dad went back so that dad could take up temporary kingship. I asked Benedict for some pointers on multi-combat situations and he took me off to his Shadow (or one of 'em anyway) and pounced me with 15 of his 'middling' troops. Considering the fact that they were all as good as me or better, I think four minutes survival time is pretty reasonable. Benedict gave me a write up on my many faults to mull over. He's way cool actually, I like him lots. Of course he might just be training me up so that I'll be so much more fun to kill - he was Merlin's G'G-Grandfather, I understand. It's a real bummer about Merlin, I kinda liked him, which is saying a lot considering that he was from Chaos.

I spent a fair bit of the week training. Boxing a lot - Cain beat the crap out of me so I've gotten pretty cautious lately about people who might not be what they appear to be.

After visiting Rebma for a while I came back to find a great many anti-Astus pieces of literature kicking about, courtesy of Cain. He seems to have decided that now is the time to make my life hell ... hmmm. Anyway, he changed into Tangent at breakfast and that was just a bit too much. I didn't want the kids (especially Jasmine) to see, so I asked dad to have a word. Dad went a bit further than I suspected and Cain has vanished, leaving me with a nagging feeling of impending doom type stuff.

Dara picked me up in the practise yard where I was mooching and we ended up going at it hammer and tongs for three or four hours. I'm beginning to wish I'd played down my abilities and let her win as easily as she did last time I fought with her. I picked up a few more interesting tactics to use in the future though.

She still seems annoyed and I'm not sure if she's going to take it any further than that ... I really don't want to get into any more trouble, but I have this horrible feeling that it's out of my hands. Dad and Benedict were watching the fight and laughing though, so maybe I'm just being set up for something more innocent?

Dream on, Astus, why doncha?

Oh well ... it's a case of wait and see. The kids are coming along nicely (especially Jas, <grin>) and Dark seems content with her Shadow work.

Well ... I've had a bit of time to think. The kids are pestering me to take them out into Shadow to test their new powers. I told them to wait until Random got back, it shouldn't be long now. When he returns I'll get Anna to take us all the long way to Averick and get Jasmine to bring us back. I really ought to sort things out there anyway and see how Half-Hazlen and Kodak are getting along. Last time I saw him, Kodak was doing a good job as my General, but I'd better check anyway.

Note: make sure the kids don't pull an Astus and wander off into Shadow on their own out of impatience. I'll put Sky on watch for that.

It might well be worth getting Jasmine and Anna to think about weapons and defences for themselves, though I'd say Anna is probably going to be more interested in the Psyche and magical aspect of things. If she gets interested in Trump it'll save me having to owe favours to Fiona or (shudder) Illya. Anyway, Gerard has suggested I ask Fiona about Anna's talents, so perhaps I'll know more after I have asked her.

Much to my personal pride, Jasmine has dropped her interest in all things computer-like and taken quite well to the sword. I have been passing on all the starting methods I learnt from Benedict, but it is perhaps a little early to go too deeply into his methods. I have plenty of my own to teach her in the meantime, but once she can take on, let's say, three guards at a time, I'll up the pace a bit. Anna is most reluctant in this area, but she isn't getting off the hook until she can beat at least two guards at once. I hate to be a hypocrite (grin) but the same goes for the strength exercises - though that may take a little longer, as the guards are still knocking my block off on a 30/70 ratio (in my favour thank goodness).

Okay, I've still got plenty to do while things are quiet. Getting some flowers for Mrs Mulligan might be a good idea after the Cake incident (Dad and Bleys cleaned out the kitchen rather).

Operation Gerard is on hold again, though finding a tractor beam seems like a cool idea to spring on him at a future date. The next time I'm out in Shadow I will spread the seeds that Shea gave me in a nice green spot.

I'm still reading up on the medical books, in between getting my lights punched out and getting whopped by Benedict. It gives me the opportunity to apply a little practical first aid anyway. I get the feeling I'm not going to weasel my way out of the medical college anyway, so I'll have a gander for a suitable fast shadow when I go out there too. Gerard is unlikely to forget.

I must remember to get a present for Vialle as well when she gets back, for all the baby-sitting and good advice.

Finally, I want to do a Trump scry of my present situation, it seems a better idea than waiting for the shit to hit the fan. Also, the Trump of Death that Dworkin gave me is slightly worrying. If it has any significance, I'd like to know about it now rather than later.

Oh yeah, warn the kids about cloud city - as far as they are concerned it is strictly off limits. It shouldn't be too hard to impress them with how mightily pissed off I'll be if they break that rule.

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